There’s Been a Change

Yesterday, I turned on my television.

Why is this statement worthy of a blog post? Because it was the first time my television had been turned on in my Texas apartment in the year 2020. The small portable set works and cable is connected for my viewing pleasure. (Honestly, I only have cable because it is more cost effective to have it included in my bundle than to pay for internet service alone.)

Don’t misunderstand. My apartment is not silent nor a monastery. I just find that watching programs on Hulu, Netflix, and YouTube allow me to have more control over my schedule than working my viewing time around the boob tube. When I watch television, I inevitably find myself sitting in front of the screen waiting for the program to air and then continue to sit like a mindless zombie after the program is over. It is just too easy for me to become engrossed in whatever is coming up next. Before I know it, my time has been taken over and I have accomplished nothing.

Keeping the television off is the key to increasing my personal reading. I have also noticed that my mood and outlook has improved when the talking box is silent. I can only take so much of the negative talk that comes through the media. Now, I determine when I am going to watch the news and limit my intake to that short span of time.

What caused me to turn on the television last night? It’s probably not my proudest addiction, but I will confess anyway. Last night was the season finale of Big Brother All-Stars. I have been a loyal viewer every summer and fall since season 8 or so. (To help put things in perspective, this was the conclusion of season 22.) I didn’t want to wait for the episode to be available for streaming and risk finding out who had won the season before watching for myself. Sometimes it is in the simple pleasures in life.

Hits and Misses (Oct 19-25)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• I am thankful that after last weekend’s accident, I was never terribly sore. I chalk that fact up to a weekend of rest, fair use of Tylenol, and quick visits with Dr. Nate throughout the week to begin getting things back in place along my neck and back. I’m still not fully back to normal, but I am feeling human again.
• The virtual Waves Weekend was such fun! I would have loved to have traveled to Malibu this year, but COVID had other plans. Still, I enjoyed getting to connect with a few of my fraternity brothers via Zoom and have a chance to catch up. It’s definitely been far too long since I’ve been back to Pepperdine. A return visit is in order as soon as travel is safe.
• On Sunday evening, I was able to perform the piano recital that was postponed last week at Abernathy First Baptist. The sanctuary was a lovely space. The people were charming and incredibly supportive. It was also nice to get to reconnect with some treasured friends while I was there. I needed that interaction more than I think I even realized. Thanks, friends!

MISSES

• On Saturday evening, I learned of the tragic death of Megan Daniels. She was involved in a fatal car accident early Saturday morning and died on the scene. Megan was a student in the children’s ministry that I served in Memphis many years ago. She was always energetic, kept me on my toes, and would bring laughter wherever she went. My heart breaks for her mother and siblings who are left behind, struggling to understand why as they try to pick up the pieces. You will be missed, Megan.
• This week, some past wounds decided to rear their ugly heads again. Nothing happened in life that should have set things off. No one pushed buttons. I wasn’t intentionally remembering former pain. It just showed up….and things that hurt long ago continue to hurt. Time heals all wounds? Sure, but the scars may still be tender at times……and no one can truly determine just how long it takes for the deepest hurts to go away. Even though I have forgiven those who caused me pain, I continue to work through the healing process.
• As the week drew to a close, I just had to accept that I am over it. Define “it” as you will…. I’m tired of it. I’m over COVID, wearing masks, and socially distancing from everyone around me. I’m tired of making excuses for the poor decisions of others. I’m tired of pretending that the world is rosy and happy when it really is not. I’m tired of editing myself in an effort to remain politically correct and not offend others. Yeah…. I’m tired….and I’m over it.

Hits and Misses (Oct 4-10, 2020)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• This week included really good piano lessons for almost all of my students. It is so rewarding to see young pianists making progress and continuing to enjoy the craft. It reminds me why I love my job — even in challenging times.
• This week also saw my return to the praise team at College Heights. I haven’t played for a church service since the beginning of the pandemic and wasn’t completely convinced that I would ever return. Thursday evening was an enjoyable time, working with friends and students as we prepared our hearts, voices, and hands to lead the congregation in worship.
• Donut night returned! It was small. It was quiet, socially distanced, and safe. But it was also very fun! I think that those of us who got to participate can say that it was just what we needed.
• Seeing someone else succeed can be so fulfilling! This week, one of my former students faced a portion of a barrier exam that has plagued him for a few semesters. He was nervous. He was intimated by me. (Still haven’t figured that part out, but I’ll take him at his word.) He rose to the occasion and got the job done. Now, there’s just one aspect of the exam remaining and I have a pretty good feeling about this one!

MISSES

• Technical difficulties plagued my world this week. The chapel live-stream would not work, so I had to figure something out for my small group on the fly. The battery on my iPad was draining very rapidly after the latest update. “Technical support” is becoming an oxymoron in my personal vocabulary.
• More and more students are beginning to experience illness. We just have to survive a few more weeks in order to put this semester in the rear-view mirror….and it can’t come soon enough!

Hits and Misses (Sept 28-Oct 4)

I suppose it is time to return to my writing routine. Why the silence? Honestly, there wasn’t much of a positive nature that I wanted to say. I still don’t have a lot of positivity to spread at the moment, but now I am beginning to trust myself to know when and how to use my personal “edit” button. That means I think I can begin safely writing again.

So here’s an abbreviated look back at the week that was….just because I really don’t want to relive all of the “misses” that I could list here.

HITS

• There are few things that are more healing to my soul than spending time with friends. Whether it’s a food run, a string of text messages, or a perfectly timed meme, my closest friends can almost always sense when I am in need of a little escape. After a couple of incredibly rough weeks, I am so thankful that friends began to make things seem much better.
• When things are tough, it’s nice to know that I am not alone in my emotional journey. Even though I hate to know that others are also struggling, it is affirming that my response is not unusual. I’m learning that it is perfectly fine to experience a mixture of anger, distrust, frustration, and betrayal all at the same time. I don’t see those emotions going away for a very long time — they will just be less prominent.
• Making music with other musicians is the very reason I entered my chosen field. This week, I got to forget about the ickiness of my world for a while and focus on upcoming performances. I just have to keep intentionally choosing to share music with the world through every venue that is available to me — and remind those listening of the value that the arts bring into their lives.

MISSES

• COVID, you have overstayed your welcome far too long. It’s really time for you to leave!
• Defending reprehensible actions was not what I signed up for.
• Short-sightedness is not a quality I look for in leadership.
• If I call you (because you KNOW how much I hate the phone), I really do not want to rehash the work week during a social call. I especially do not want to talk about work right now……
• Guilt trips are not cool. Do not use them on me.