Hits & Misses (January 1-7, 2022)

After some time away from my blog, I have decided to make some changes. The most noticeable will be that the weekly H&M post will appear on Friday evenings. I found that writing and posting on Monday was carrying some of the week’s baggage into the next. Life is hard enough without bringing dead weight from the previous week! So, here’s a look back at the week that was…..

HITS

• I thoroughly enjoyed spending the Christmas break with the Geriatrics. There was plenty of laughter and love. There were heart-wrenching conversations that needed to be had. There was sharing with family and friends as we celebrated the birth of the Savior. It was just what I needed.
• As 2021 rolled out, I felt pretty poorly. On Sunday morning, I was glad to receive verification that my COVID PCR test came back negative! While it didn’t provide a complete answer of what was going on, it did ease my mind that I was not spreading the virus to my parents. A round of steroids helped to get me feeling better before setting out for Texas.
• As the week comes to a close, I think I am actually ready for classes to begin on Monday. I managed to get a lot of the work done before I left for the holiday, so there were only a few things to clean up in the office today. I know there will be curveballs launched in the coming week, but at least I’m as prepared as I can be.
• To celebrate the end of the week (and to attempt to get warm!), I treated myself to Panera Bread for dinner on Friday evening. A simple sandwich and a warm cup of Mac-n-cheese next to the fireplace was just what the doctor ordered.

MISSES

• I’m sad to admit that I’m still not feeling 100%. I have a nagging cough that will not quit and low energy. The worst hit on Tuesday afternoon as I was driving back to Texas. I loaded up on cold medicine and am just trying to get some rest and stay hydrated. It’s not COVID; it’s not the flu. The only other things I can think of are a lingering cold or nasty allergies. It’s time for a wellness check with the doctor anyway……
• Saying goodbye to Mom continues to be difficult. I keep thinking that it will get easier to leave home, but it really never does. What can I say? I’m a Momma’s boy and the baby. Because of some of the conversations we shared while I was home, this exit was more difficult than others.
• I’ve had a couple of episodes of choking on my own phlegm this week (although the cough is not really productive) and it is frustrating! There’s nothing worse than trying to clear your airway of something that is not there, but feeling as though you are about to gag. The worst episode was Friday night….tears were rolling down my face by the time I got things settled down. Good grief!
• In case you haven’t already heard me say this before, I HATE COLD WEATHER! I guess I didn’t dress with quite enough layers when things turned bitterly cold on Thursday and managed to really get chilled to the bone. I came home, cranked up the heat, and crawled in bed in an effort to finally get warm. I’m looking forward to warmer temperatures this weekend.
• The January blues have arrived right on schedule. I hate that I deal with this, but I can mark it down on the calendar. As soon as the holiday lights come down everywhere and I find myself alone in my apartment while waiting for the new semester to begin can be a tough time. I know to take care of myself with lots of self-care, sunshine, and forcing myself out and among other people. Typically it doesn’t last long and I’m good to go. So, in spite of the current Omicron variant, I’ll be heading to the movies, restaurants, and the mall this weekend. Definitely ready for the energy of students to once again fill the halls of the music building!

Hopes for 2022

A new year has begun. Every year, this time of the year comes with fresh hope, new dreams, and a few worries. The past two years have not been kind to any of us. It has been tough trying to just survive at times. Achieving goals has felt like too great of an ask. That’s why this year I am foregoing the standard New Year’s Resolutions. I’m just not in a place right now where I can handle the defeat of not achieving lofty goals. It’s time for me to admit to myself and to others that it is perfectly fine to not be fine at the moment. Instead, I am choosing to express some of my personal hopes for the year ahead.

I hope to reclaim much of what has been lost. The pandemic (and all of the fallout and loss that we have experienced as a result of it) has cost me dearly. In the coming year, I hope to regain my passion again — for relationships, for music, and for myself. I hope to regain my positivity. (That has been a lost commodity in my world recently.) I hope to rediscover real joy and contentment.

I also hope to learn more this year. I’m setting out on a personal educational adventure this year. Do I really know what the outcome will be? Not at all. I will be doing some work in a traditional classroom setting again as a student. I’ll also be pursuing some personal study of topics that are of interest to me.

In 2022, I hope to practice greater self-care. I don’t really know exactly what this will look like, but I want to make sure I make time for things that bring me happiness and give myself permission to simply tune out everything else in order to center my heart and mind. It might be as simple as losing myself in the pages of a novel again, working on a favorite hobby without guilt, or catching a movie with a friend. There may be more concerts and weekend excursions without a real purpose in sight. It also might mean turning off all of the electronic noise and enjoying the silence for a while.

I hope to regain my adventurousness. When COVID first entered our nation, I sat at home in fear for myself, my family, my job, and my world. That’s something I have never really dealt with before. While I became a little more relaxed about the virus after vaccination, I have continued to find myself facing dread and lots of uncertainty. I became afraid to take a chance because what had once brought excitement and adventure now just led to discomfort and unease. I became an old man emotionally rather than the youthful spirit that I had so long enjoyed. (Granted, my body has a way of reminding me regularly that I’m not as young as I once was…..but that’s a different story altogether!) So it’s time to reclaim my love for life. I’m not going to jump from a perfectly good airplane or repel down a cliff, but there are still adventures that await me. I’ve put them on hold far too long because of fear of failure, fear of getting hurt, and fear of possible defeat.

As you can see, much of what I’m hoping for in the new year is all about RECLAIMING a part of me that has been dormant for too long. You may not actually notice much of a change on the outside — I’ve been pretty good about disguising what was really happening behind the mask I wore — but it’s time for me to rip the proverbial mask off and face the ugliness that I see in the mirror. It’s time to make a change…and I can truly say that I’m ready to dare to hope once again.