A Different Spring Break

Spring Break 2022 could not have come soon enough. After a very busy first half of the term and recent health issues, I needed a break. My body needed to rest. My mind needed to spend a week in a neutral gear. My hands needed some downtime. I needed to catch my breath and re-center emotionally. So I hit the road on Thursday before break (my originally planned travel day). I was determined to leave everything behind in Plainview for a while.

The plan had been to fly. But with a nasty cold that was still lingering and the fact that I sounded absolutely HORRIBLE, I feared that I would be denied boarding and end up having to drive to Arkansas anyway. So I cancelled my flight, crawled in the car, and headed east. Since I had to make a detour through Lubbock that morning, I decided to take Highway 82 into Arkansas rather than my normal path. I made good time and arrived in Texarkana by 5pm. Since I was that close to the Geriatric Ward, stopping for the night seemed pointless. I continued driving and arrived at Mom and Pop’s house around 9:30 that evening.

Sometime around 3am on Friday morning, I was awakening from a sound sleep (Thank you, cold medicine!) by the constant beeping of my cell phone. I groggily made my way across the room to see what all of the commotion was about. That’s when I learned that my brother had been called by Mom to take her to the ER because she could not breathe. (Later, I would learn that she had not tried to rouse me since I had driven all day and could not wake my dad.)

By the morning, Mom had a formal diagnosis of congestive heart failure and was suffering from fluid in her lungs. She was transported to the hospital in Jonesboro and admitted for a few days. By the time I was fully awake, I had discovered that my own health problems had gone from bad to worse overnight. My voice was now basically completely gone! Before heading to Jonesboro to see Mom, I called my local ENT and got an appointment for Tuesday afternoon.

When Tuesday rolled around, I was ready for some answers. Truthfully, I was more than a little worried that something was seriously wrong. I knew things were bad when the nurse entered the room to begin her assessment and handed me a pen and paper after our first exchange. That’s when you know you sound bad! The ENT scoped me through my nostrils to confirm that the problem was not sinus related. Everything looked fine……until she got to my vocal cords. Rather than describing what I saw (wish I hadn’t, honestly!), I’ll just skip to the diagnosis. I am either suffering from vocal thrush (most likely) or the earliest stages of a nodule. The doctor’s thought is that my recent respiratory infection combined with my Type 2 Diabetes created the perfect storm for the yeast to grow near my vocal folds. There does not appear to be any permanent damage, but I was put on a 2 week anti-fungal treatment and instructed to be on vocal rest as much as possible for the next few weeks.

Mom was released on Wednesday afternoon, but was still quite ill. She now requires constant oxygen until the fluid is completely out of her lungs and is exhausted from all of the coughing. Perhaps worse of all, Mom cannot sleep in her own bed; since returning home, she has been confined to the recliner in the living room. She will be visited twice weekly by a home health nurse with two additional visits from a physical therapist. Before I left home on Saturday afternoon, she had met both caregiver teams and liked them a lot. That’s a definite relief!

So my relaxing week took on a different look than I had planned. I learned a lot about an oxygen compressor and how to easily move from living room to bathroom and dining room with a tube connected to your nose. Suddenly, I found myself back in the kitchen preparing meals for Mom. I had forgotten how much I enjoy cooking for others when I have some direction and know that I am not going to be solely responsible for clean-up. (Have to admit, the frozen veggies that are cooked in the bags are amazing. No mess, no fuss….and the patients liked them!) I spent a little time thinking about how to give Mom a little of her independence back while Dad is at work and got to be around while she started making her first strolls from the front door to the kitchen entry. There’s something encouraging about watching a feisty geriatric patient determining that it is time to get up and move!

Today, I made it back to Plainview. My voice is considerably better — the meds seem to be helping a lot — but I am still not quite ready to launch into a full-blown lecture yet. I didn’t learn the new music that I had hoped to while at home. I didn’t touch a piano at all. But I am finally feeling as though I will be completely healthy once again in the not too distant future. Most importantly, I was home for the Geriatrics’ most recent health crisis. Even though it is not completely over, at least I have seen things with my own eyes and am at peace. Still, I’ll probably find a way to sneak back home for a weekend in a few weeks.

Vacation is Over!

Hello, my friends! After what feels like a very long break, I am returning to the blogosphere once again. I feel as though I have inspiration to write again after taking some much needed time to just be with myself and my parents. Sometimes, disappearing and retreating is just what a self-professed introvert needs.

I loaded up the car in mid-May and headed to my childhood home in Crawfordsville, Arkansas. I took over the dining room table with my computer and other materials and continued writing almost every day into early June. I quickly realized that I needed some time for myself. I needed to deal with the passing of a high school friend that was just a year older than me due to complications with COVID-19. I needed to mourn all that I felt I had lost and was learning to cope with in isolation. Quite simply, I needed to allow myself some time to heal emotionally. That’s not always the easiest thing to admit to yourself. It can be even more challenging when you know that your environment is largely limited to four walls.

I continued to teach a few piano lessons virtually, but did very little personal practicing. I just needed to step away from the instrument for a bit and listen to the sounds of my own breathing and spend as much time as I could with my mother. (I do not have a problem admitting that I have always been a Momma’s boy and always will be.) I would play occasionally to feel as though my hands could still move along the keyboard, but I settled in my mind that anything that needed my attention could wait until August. If the performance suffers because of it, so be it. I needed to choose to take care of my own health….and that’s not a decision I regret at all.

I returned to Plainview on Saturday afternoon and got everything unloaded into my apartment to begin another semester of work at Wayland in the coming week. There are a lot of exciting things on the horizon that I am looking forward to sharing with you. There is a bit of apprehension in the air of how the continuing pandemic will impact my work, emotions, family, friends, and students. The uncertainty can be crippling at times. I am finding myself in a better place to face things now than I was in May.

Part of the plan to better deal with my emotions is to blog on all of my various sites more regularly. Notice….that’s the plan. We all know that plans don’t always work out, but it at least gives us a plan of somewhere to start. All of my posts appear with links in my Twitter feed, so you can follow everything there.  If you are just interested in what’s going on in my personal world, make sure that you subscribe to Livin’ Life. The plan is to upload new content on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with some bonus posts appearing on the weekends. (For those that have asked, the weekly “Hits and Misses” will begin to reappear as well. I’m glad to hear that you have missed them.)  My other blogs are of a more specialized nature. Collaborations will have new posts on Tuesdays focused on my work as a performer and musician with special attention given to the role of the piano in the chamber ensemble. On Thursdays, a new blog will begin to appear – The Piano Teachers’ Bookshelf. I think the name tells you everything about it. It will feature reviews of supplemental pieces for elementary, intermediate, and early advanced piano students that can be used in your own teaching studios. Performance videos of the featured pieces will also be included. For those interested in what I am reading or stitching at the moment, make sure that you check out Reading for Me and Procrastinated XStitch Projects. Lastly, there is another site that I have not shared with many people.  Word of God, Speak is a place where I share my thoughts from Bible study that I want to remember, reflect on, or expound. There is no set routine here….but the spark of a new post took root this morning. Hope that you will see something there later this week.

I know it is a massive plan and that I will inevitably miss days. My hope is that having a goal will mean that I will hit the mark more often than missing it. I invite you to come along for the ride.

Christmas Traditions

Jan 3 – What is your family’s Christmas story? (Your traditions, your rituals, etc.)

Christmas with my family has changed tremendously over the years. Now the celebration is largely centered around a family meal on the 25th together with lots of noise. Family comes in for that one day and then returns to their individual lives. Mom and I continue some of our traditions of watching Christmas movies nightly and trying to take in a show or two to celebrate. Perhaps the change is simply the result of everyone getting older. I don’t know though…..

As a young professional still living in the Geriatric Ward, Christmas was always a busy season for me. There were always gigs to play, church parties to organize, and children’s musicals to stage and produce. And my family was right in the thick of it. (Come on….who better to draft when you need work done?) Mom was always a trooper to help with food for parties and helped immensely with children’s events. Patsy was constantly building and altering costumes for all sorts of productions — when i didn’t have to toss her on stage! I don’t know how many times we have created angels’ wings, halos, and nativity scenes together. O’Neal handled all things mechanical…whether he really knew how things worked or not! We figured out stage lighting trees and how to make a rotating box to give the illusion of Heavenly clouds that could also open into a storybook. Since the beginning of all of these seasonal plays, at least one of my nieces was in the cast. Jacquelyn was the only one that had to figure out how to take direction from me while sitting next to me on stage. That’s always tricky!

Why did the tradition of doing the Christmas program together seem so important? Some may think it was only because it made me look good. I think there was a lot more to it than that though. While we were constantly reminded about the birth of Christ through the shows’ plots, we also got to celebrate our individual strengths working together to offer a personal gift to the church and the Savior. On top of that, it gave us a connection that we didn’t otherwise have. We were working towards a common goal together….and that made the times together as a family even sweeter.

There were other traditions from my youth and childhood. For many years, one of my favorite traditions was the Christmas card display. Cards came from near and far. Some were exquisitely beautiful while others were charming or comical. Each card reminded us that we were loved and given warm wishes during the holiday season. I don’t really remember how it started, but the cards ultimately began to make their way to the doorframe of the living room. As we entered the door of the house, you were immediately greeted by this enormous display of Christmas art that was constantly growing. We had a personal art installation in our home that would never be the same in any other year.

There were also the infamous excursions to the mall almost weekly to search for the perfect gift…..and a great deal…..for everyone on our list. Did we probably spend more money than we should have? I’m sure. Would I trade anything for the time we spent together in the stores? Not on your life. There was so much laughter, frivolity, and love in those times. Pop would grab a seat on a bench (normally near the food court) to people watch, but he would eventually slip away on his own to make a few purchases. Mom’s giggle box would get turned over without fail. There were stupid adventures too….someone noticing a sale just as everyone had stepped on the down escalator. Rather than riding to the bottom and returning to the sale, we decided to turn around and walk back up the escalator. Almost everyone made it….Carlene had to ride down on her knees as she laughed at her own fall. Now, that time together is overshadowed by everyone’s concern about not spending too much and not making purchases for anyone outside of your immediate family. Personally, I hate it….but I acquiesce to keep the peace.

There were lots of other Christmas traditions that I loved. Building treat bags for the local church. A couple of favorite teddy bears that have sat in front of the television for many Decembers now. The mess of flour and sugar from holiday baking to share with others. Car rides together to see the light displays around the area. There were also some traditions that I hated. Trips to my paternal grandmother’s on Christmas Day where I felt like the unwanted grandchild. Heirloom Christmas ornaments that were treasured by my older siblings but had no reflection of me in them…..hate to admit that, but it’s true. Guess that’s what comes from being born a decade later. Christmas Day ham. Bleh!

Change is inevitable. Some of the traditions ended as the children grew and began lives of our own. Some require too much energy now that we are all getting older (since much of the responsibility for these treasured Christmas traditions always landed with the Geriatrics…..and they’re not Spring Chickens any more!) Rather than focusing on all that has been lost over the years, I choose to focus on making new holiday traditions — movie marathons, live theater — while maintaining and reviving some of the older traditions that have become dormant for a while. Most importantly, I have to keep my focus on the tradition of being with those that I love most at Christmas as we celebrate the birth of the Savior of the World.

Where Do You Want to Be?

My blog prompts have been hitting pretty close to home recently and today’s question is no different. At the moment, I am right where I want to be…..and far away from where I want to be too.

I’m right where I want to be at the moment, sitting in my chocolate brown recliner with my feet up and a Coke on the table next to me. For the past week, I’ve been in Midland, Texas, staying in a host home while playing for the WBU Opera touring production of La Prima Musica. Don’t get me wrong…..I thoroughly enjoyed getting to perform for most of the elementary students that attended the opera. I am so thankful to Permian Basin Opera for providing the opportunity to WBU Music and taking such good care of us while visiting the city. But after 9 performances, load-in, and strike, I’m pooped! My arms are achy — no pain, just extremely tired — and my mind is jelly at the moment. So since returning home this afternoon, I have spent most of the day sitting in this very chair. I’ve listened to a little music, done some reading, and watched a bit of television. I simply needed to spend the day doing nothing that was very taxing. It was great spending the week with my colleagues and our students as we performed…but I’m very thankful to be in my apartment again.

At the same time, my apartment is the last place I want to be at the moment. All week long, I have seen posts from previous years when I would visit Los Angeles around this time of the year on an almost annual basis. It’s not the scenery that I’m missing or even the weather. It’s not even the fun activities that I miss. I’m missing the people that have played such a special part in my life over the years. So….if I’ve spoken with you about making a road trip to L.A. this summer, know that I am completely serious. I want to do the touristy stuff as part of a fun summer trip. But I need to see some important people and just be myself for a while without any reservation.

But that’s not the only place I’m wishing I could be tonight. I’m missing the Geriatric Ward at the moment. Today is my dad’s birthday. I don’t have the best relationship with Pop and never have. I know that I am loved and he provided for me generously, but there was never a strong connection. I was the child of his later years who had no interest in outdoor activities and learning how things worked. Instead, I was the bookworm who would rather spend time at the piano or in a museum. We simply had very little in common and I don’t think either of us knew how to operate in the other’s world. So there was very little meaningful interaction.

Still, I love my dad and know that he will not be with us forever. He turned 83 today. In the past, he has battled cancer and heart complications. When I visit, I see that he is becoming more and more frail and the years are finally beginning to catch up with him. I wish I were closer to the Geriatric Ward so that I could make an effort to establish more of a relationship with him now that I know how that process works. Phone calls don’t do the trick for us though. And it appears that we will not be in the same locale on a regular basis any time soon. So for now, I have to make the best of the limited time I have in Arkansas and make the best of a less-than-ideal situation. I’ll be home for Thanksgiving in a few weeks and then again for the Christmas holidays a couple of weeks later. For now, that has to be enough.

So for right now, I am going to be content while I’m resting in Plainview, finish the work that is still before me, and know that I am right where I want to be at the moment as I also reflect on the other places that I want to be…..with the people that I wish I was near.

The People Who Make Your Life Better

I am an extreme introvert. I don’t like to be in large crowds very often. Instead, I prefer small groups and intimate conversations. I suppose that is why I tend to make close connections with a small group of people. Throughout my life, I have been fortunate to have extremely close friends who know me well and make life better. What makes me even happier is that many of those who have played an important role in my life continue to remain close despite the passage of time and distance. When this prompt appeared this morning, I knew I would be in trouble if I tried to name everyone that makes my life better. I think I have come up with a solution by grouping people together.

Who are the people that make my life better?

• Mom. Okay, I’m gonna start by departing from the idea of grouping people together. I have always been a Momma’s boy and proud of it. Besides, I have it on good authority that I am Mom’s favorite child. Even though I always knew that I was loved, it wasn’t until I began graduate work and returned to my childhood home that I really began to appreciate my mother. As an adult, I was now able to have richer conversations with Mom and share my thoughts without fear of punishment. Mom quickly became my best friend and trusted confidant. Yeah….Mom definitely makes life better. (I really need to call her tomorrow. It’s been a busy few weeks and I simply haven’t had time or energy for a lengthy conversation.)
• The Malibu Crew. There were so many people who became treasured friends while I was at Pepperdine. Most of them were fraternity brothers and I continue to love them deeply. However, if I have to narrow the list to a few that I knew as students, it’s easy to talk about Jeff, Paulie, and Tiffany. (Trust me….there are plenty of others that could be added to that list!) Tiff is the friend who was a student with me the longest. We knew each other from a distance for several years, but our friendship really blossomed while we both lived in an apartment at Steeplechase! Tiff became a trusted friend who understood my fears and challenges…and loved me in spite of it all! Tiff lives in Hawaii these days, so I rarely get to see her. When we do, it’s as though we are picking up right where we left off. Paulie and Jeff are fraternity brothers. Paulie was in Malibu with me….Jeff and I would meet when he was a student, but our friendship would grow when we were both alums. The three of us have seen many late October/early November Malibu sunrises and sunsets together over the years. As we have aged, those times have moved beyond us, but we still remain connected. It has been far too long since I have sat around a table with these two men that I love and adore. There’s nothing better than that either! A return trip to Southern California is definitely in order now.
• Pepperdine staff. I was so blessed by the adults that God placed in my life while I was a student. The Campus Life staff – Hung, Rita, Lori, and Bob – made a tremendous impact on my life and continue to be treasured friends. Scott and LuJuana – the campus ministers – listened to me cry in sorrow and anger many times. Sandy and Rich practically adopted me as a member of the family. Chris and Claudia allowed a floundering pair of upperclassmen to rent a room in their faculty condo and became friends.
• The Roberts family. If you read last week’s Hits and Misses, you have already read my feelings about my adopted Texas family. But since the topic came up again today, I have to include them here as well. Jack, Christi, Ryan, and Chase (and Andrea too!)….I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I’ll forever be thankful for that fateful night in Harral Auditorium when Mrs. Gayle asked what time I would be in my office the next morning…..because she needed to make sure her oldest grandson came to visit me. Who would have imagined that such an awkward moment would turn into such a tremendous blessing to me? I adore all of you (yeah, even you……) and look forward to what adventures await in the future.
• My brother-from-another-mother. It’s sometimes surprising how friendships grow quickly and unexpectedly. During my first year of work at WBU, actually the very first week, I already found myself flustered. (I know it’s hard to believe!) I walked down the hall and into an office with an open door. I closed the door, exclaimed a few choice words, shared a laugh, and the rest is history. From the unlikeliest of pairs, Anthony has become my most trusted friend who is able to read me like a book. We’ve had many adventures together over the past 5 years….shared a lot of laughs together and shed a few tears…..and I’m looking forward to whatever else our crazy brains concoct!

Christmas Shopping

I suppose today’s blog prompt is truly a sign of the times that we live in. The question was straight forward…Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? Uh…NO! It’s October 5. I’d like to get at least one more bag of Halloween candy before I start thinking about Frosty, Rudolph, and Santa.

This wasn’t always the case though. As soon as I became independent and able to purchase gifts, I enjoyed the process of Christmas shopping. There was nothing better than making a list, determining how much to spend, then looking for the best deals I could find to make my limited money stretch as far as it could. Over the years, I became known as the shopper who was going to find great gifts for even better prices. My favorite story is still the year that I went shopping for a shirt for a brother-in-law that I really didn’t like very much. I knew I had to at least make it appear that I cared….so I shopped the bargain racks in a favorite department store. While looking at price tags on the medium shirts, I found one that clearly said the price was $0.01! The colors weren’t horrible. There were no holes or obvious defects. I could give a gift that truly paralleled the idiot’s worth. I had found the perfect item!

Christmas shopping wasn’t always about insulting those I didn’t like. More often, it was a joy to search for things that I thought people would enjoy, but probably would never buy for themselves. Whether it was a new dress for Mom or the latest gadget for one of my nieces, nothing brought me more joy than to find the perfect gift, have it wrapped beautifully, place it under the tree, and wait for the recipient’s response on Christmas morning. It was fun! It was a reminder for me of all that I had been given.

Sadly, things changed in the family Christmas celebration. Others began to view the process of gift-giving as stressful and a competition. They felt that they had to reciprocate their perception of the gifts’ monetary value in their own giving. Despite explanations that Christmas giving was not a “tit for tat” transaction, the gift-giving was brought to a halt. With it went my joy of the Christmas season. Sure, I still get gifts for my parents to honor them. But Christmas has become tainted for me because I have to consider if my gift-giving instincts are acceptable. Now the holiday turns into a massive shopping trip that I despise because I am accompanying my mother with the simple purpose of making all of the selections while she dishes out the cash. Typically, I am selecting items for myself that are then wrapped and set beneath the tree. Don’t get me wrong…..I appreciate the things I receive. I just wish that I didn’t have to select it all myself. How horrible would it be to know that someone thought about what I might enjoy and then get to open a package — with no idea of its contents! — on December 25 surrounded by family. I just miss the magic of the gift exchange and the knowledge that someone cared enough to think about me without having to be given a list of “acceptable” gifts. In our efforts to get the “right” gifts, avoid after-Christmas returns, and make sure that no one feels uncomfortable, my family has somehow lost the meaning and joy of giving.

I should probably sit down at some point and try to figure out where everything went wrong. For me, Christmas Day is no longer a celebration. It’s just another day for family to stuff our faces around the table and wait for everyone to leave the Geriatric Ward. I long for the days when the holiday was so much more than a family obligation and was instead truly a reason to celebrate.

Help for the Geriatrics

One of the great joys of my life for the past few years has been helping to care for the Geriatrics. In case you don’t know, “The Geriatrics” is my affectionate term for my parents. Some people find the term insulting; I tell them to take it up with my parents — they both know that I use the term and mean it with tremendous love. I never imagined that I would spend many years caring for my parents’ health issues in their golden years. I have learned a lot about the healthcare system in our country. I’ve learned a lot about patience and keeping patients comfortable without letting them feel smothered. I’ve learned a lot about myself and my family. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes, but I have also had lots of success.

One of my personal emotional challenges when I accepted my job in Texas 5 years ago was trying to figure out who would care for Mom and Dad. Things have gotten taken care of in my absence and the Geriatrics have taken a lot of the responsibility for their lives back — and that is probably a good thing. Still, I am always looking for ways to help make their lives a little easier. There are two things that I brought into the Geriatric Ward that seem to have changed Mom and Dad’s lives and have made things a little easier for them.  I thought I would share them here and tell you how they came about — in the hope that the ideas we have espoused might help another son somewhere who finds himself caring for his aging parents.

Magnetic Calendar – This was a simple solution, but so incredibly necessary. The Geriatrics had established the process of posting all of their doctor’s appointment reminders on the refrigerator. When there were just a few reminders, things seemed to work without a hitch. Once the appointments blew up overnight — and it seems as though that’s exactly what happened in both of their healthcare situations at the same time — the refrigerator looked like the interior of a filing cabinet without any of the organization. When Pop actually missed an important follow-up appointment, I knew that something had to change. I had mentioned a calendar before, but neither of them seemed interested. When the calendar arrived, I took EVERY CARD off of the refrigerator and plotted the appointments on the calendar. The Geriatrics bought into the system and I loved being able to visually see what was coming with just a glance. Now I could plan my week accordingly and give ample notice to my siblings when I would need help transporting the Geriatrics to their various appointments.

Here a few additional tips about the calendar:

• Don’t think that you can purchase a “normal” calendar and keep it on the refrigerator with standard magnets. It inevitably will not work! For a few dollars more, get a magnetic calendar. The weight of the paper and the strength of the magnets have already been balanced and you’ll be much happier with the product.
• It will be tempting to try to “hide” the calendar in a cabinet to keep things looking neat. Nope! Tried that for a hot minute and quickly realized that I was going to miss another appointment if things were not openly visible to everyone involved.
• The patients will not maintain the system! Just be prepared to update the calendar every time you enter their home. After a while, they will begin to put some of the items on there, but it seems to never have the regularity you need to really make it work.
• Personally, I would love to use an online calendar instead. However, my siblings never looked at the digital files I created….and since the Geriatrics are not tech savvy I decided to maintain a paper copy instead.

Rolling Mail Basket – This is perhaps my proudest addition to the Geriatric Ward! Grocery shopping is a hassle each week. The worst part for Mom and Dad is trying to get all of the items in the house. Pop wants to carry forty bags at a time and ends up hurting his arms and chest. Mom’s knee is not stable and she cannot climb the exterior stairs if she has anything in her hands. (Yep….that’s the next “improvement” I’m trying to figure out for the Geriatric Ward!) When I first came up with the idea for this solution, everyone thought I was crazy. Now the Geriatrics are constantly having people tell them that they want a mail basket too!  It took me a little while to find exactly what I wanted, but I was finally able to order the mail basket from Office Depot for a really reasonable price. (Note: I was unable to find the exact basket I purchased during my online search, but the image on the right is very similar to the one that lives in the Geriatric Ward.)

Here’s what happens. Before leaving for their shopping trip, the Geriatrics roll the mail basket to the front door. When they return, Mom comes inside and rolls the empty basket outside while Dad moves the bags to the porch. Together, they fill the upper basket as well as the lower rack with their things. Then it’s just a matter of rolling everything into the kitchen to be unpacked. Do they use it for every trip? Certainly not. If they only have a few bags, they can manage to get them inside the normal way. But for the big trips to the market, you better believe the basket is coming out! When I was unloading items by myself this week, I grabbed the rolling basket too. It just makes things easier…..and who doesn’t like that!

Going with the Flow

Surprise — things don’t always go as I had planned. This is often a source of difficulty for me. This summer in the Geriatric Ward is no different, but I’m trying to go with the flow and make the best of a challenging situation.

Many of my readers already know that my siblings and I honored Mom with a surprise 80th birthday celebration a few weeks ago. We had to delay the party from her actual birth date because I was out of country. We found an open weekend, made the plans, and everything seemed to be going exactly as planned.

Or at least they were going that way until we were cleaning up and preparing to leave the venue. I had taken Mom home and unloaded her gifts and some food items into my childhood home. I then decided to return to the venue — just a few blocks from the house — to see if my brother needed any more help. When I returned, I learned that Pop had taken a fall. We got the bleeding to stop and began our journey to the emergency room to err on the side of safety. Thankfully, nothing was broken and it appeared that everything was perfectly fine.

We are now approaching the two week anniversary of the fall and things are anything but normal. A check-up visit to his primary physician revealed that Pop had developed a skin infection as a result of the fall that could easily land him in the hospital. Because his leg was so bruised and sore, Dad had significantly decreased his fluid intake so he wouldn’t have to make trips to the bathroom. (You think that’s TMI? Don’t read the rest of this paragraph. Alright….but don’t say I didn’t warn you!) As a result of this choice, Dad has become severely constipated which is a rather serious issue since he underwent surgery several years ago due to colon cancer. To make matters worse, his inactivity has resulted in extremely low blood pressure. The PC physician wants to make changes to his medication, but that requires a visit to the cardiologist given Pop’s triple bypass surgery and recent stint placement. No, Dad’s accident did not permit the summer to go as planned.

How is this impacting me, you ask? Of course, I’m concerned about Pop’s health. I hate to see him suffer and want him to get better. But I want him better yesterday! Since he is feeling so bad, Dad hasn’t gone to work since the fall. That means he’s been parked in the lift chair in the living room of the Geriatric Ward with the television blaring every day. Why is this so stressful? You have to understand the layout of this home to fully get the picture.

The Geriatric Ward is a shotgun house. There’s a single wall that runs down the center of the building. The living room, dining room, and kitchen are separated by the merest archways. Half of the house is an enormous Great Room before the design style was really cool. Pop’s lift chair sits in the separation between the living and dining rooms. What other household item resides in the dining room? My piano! Now you are beginning to see the issue….Dad’s presence in the home ALL DAY LONG has made it virtually impossible for me to do any substantive practicing in preparation for the upcoming semester.

I became extremely stressed by the situation earlier this week and simply had to vent to Mom. I was looking for sympathy and understanding. I was hoping for advice. Unfortunately, what came out of my mouth was the statement that this could not happen again this summer…..or I might just need to return to Texas. As soon as I made the statement, I regretted it because Mom’s stress level suddenly came to the fore. She is doing all she can to make sure Pop’s recovery goes smoothly, but doesn’t feel as though Dad really wants to get better. It’s just a stressful situation all around.

So I made a decision. Practicing in the Geriatric Ward would certainly be the easiest solution, but there are other options available. It was time to take my preferences out of the equation, put on my big boy pants, and just go with the flow. I made a call to my friend who owns Bartlett Music and asked to rent rehearsal space for 3 hours each day for the foreseeable future. Is this a convenient solution? Not really. I have to drive an hour each way and arrange my practice routine around the space availability of the music academy. So 3 hours of work takes up 5 hours of my time. I am not at my most productive in the mornings. But it is what is necessary in order to go with the flow and get the necessary work done. I won’t even begin to address the inconvenience of transporting my music (there’s more to that than you might imagine), not working on the instrument I am most familiar with, and not working in your most comfortable environment.

How long will this be my summer routine? I have no idea. It really just depends upon Pop’s recovery. What I do know is that a simple change to my outlook and attitude can make a huge difference in how I view this situation….and it allows me to be as helpful as I can be in the Geriatric Ward while still ensuring that I am ready for the music-making that is ahead in the Fall semester. So I’ve strapped on my life jacket, grabbed my oar, and set out on this wild ride through the white water rapids of the Geriatric Ward. I’m accepting that I am not going to be able to control the journey, so I’m just trying to go along with the flow while keeping my head above the water.

Up for a New Challenge

Sometimes everyone just needs a challenge. Something that pushes them out of their comfort zone. Something that will stretch the brain a bit. Something that will keep the mind sharp and always learning.

For Christmas, I gave Mom her first iPad. At first, she was apprehensive — even questioning the practicality of such a gift. I assured her that we would learn just a few things every few days so she could feel comfortable with the item. My first lesson was a simple but important one: you really cannot mess anything up.

We started by exploring the plethora of interesting items on Pinterest. Mom’s eyes nearly exploded as she looked with wonder at all of the recipes and home remedies that were easily at her fingertips. As she continued to explore, she began to ask questions. Will these items always be on this page? If they move, how will I remember what I’ve found later? How do you pull up the recipes that you found weeks ago when it’s time to cook them now? I knew that her questions and interest points would guide what we needed to learn next. I just needed her to discover that fact as well! After several weeks with Pinterest, she is now a proficient user, saving pins to her personal board and checking out the pages of people that she is following.

The Bible app was an obvious choice for Mom to learn to use. Some of my earliest memories involve finding Mom and Dad in the living room every morning having prayer together. Before taking their petitions to the Lord, Mom spends time sitting on the end of the couch with one of her Bibles spread across her lap. Together, we looked at how easily she could switch between translations in the app and change font size to best fit the needs of her eyesight. The next morning, Mom could hardly wait to tell me how much she had gotten to read in the Bible that morning. Things were easier on her body since the print was larger and the iPad was considerably lighter than the Bible she had been reading. If she learned to use nothing else on the iPad, having the Bible available in this format every morning made it a part of her day that she thoroughly enjoyed.

Facebook was a little more daunting and took a little more work on my part. She has learned to comment on photos and write on other people’s walls. One night after preparing dinner together, Mom told me that she needed to take a picture of our meal and post it on her wall because it was so pretty. I just laughed and then helped her walk through the process of making the post. I was hoping someone would ask for the recipe so I could help her post the link, but alas…..

I must admit that there was a selfish reason for giving Mom an iPad. The two of us talk often. Honestly, my mother is my best friend. There are times that a faceless voice just doesn’t cut it; I need to see my Mama. Enter FaceTime! We practiced with the app a few times while I was sitting beside her to help her see how things worked. When driving out to west Texas, I decided to give Mom a call once I had stopped for the night in Paris, Texas. I connected to FaceTime, but the app told me Mom was unavailable. No big deal…..she was probably in the kitchen getting dinner ready, so I’ll just call her phone instead. When I called, she promptly picked up and told me that she had tried to answer the FaceTime call, but couldn’t figure out how to answer. I made another video call to Mom while I remained on the phone with her and walked her through the process. We were able to connect and spent a few minutes talking about her day and my travel while she sat at the dining room table. Yep, seeing Mom’s face when I’m not close by makes this one of my best purchases ever.

Things are Changing

Change is inevitable. Sometimes it forces us to stretch ourselves. Sometimes it is uncomfortable. Sometimes we have planned for it; other times it catches us completely by surprise. Sometimes it is for our growth.

As this post goes live, I am in the process of moving — and that’s one change that I am very excited about. Everyone calm down….I’m just moving across town. There is no major relocation plans in the works. I’m not anxious to go through the process of getting the boxes out of my dilapidated 2-bedroom apartment into the third floor, 1-bedroom unit that will be my new home. (Thanks for the movers, Mom and Pop!) I am looking forward to being in a place that is beautiful and where I will want to spend time. Even though the process of moving is going to be rather painful and getting settled in the new place (and dealing with all of those stairs!) will take time, I know that this change will ultimately be a very positive one.

Other things have been changing in my world this summer. The Geriatrics finally settled into a new church home that is ultimately going to be a great place for them to worship with a strong community of believers. Pop is in the process of undergoing a battery of tests that are going to result in some significant changes for him in the coming weeks.  We are just praying that they will be as non-invasive as possible and still produce significant results. With the help of my brother, some strong backs, and a U-Haul trailer, my beloved Boston piano made its way back to Arkansas. 

This summer, I also made the decision to make a change in my blogging routine. I stopped. Writing had become a duty instead of an enjoyment and I found myself struggling to find inspiration. Instead, I tried to immerse myself in novels…..and that failed miserably as well. That’s when I decided that this summer would be one to binge in front of the tube — I caught up on movies and television series I have been intending to watch for quite a while. It wasn’t the most intellectual way to spend a summer, but I am much happier because of it. As summer began to near its end, I decided that I would return to my blogs once I returned to Plainview.

That’s when Facebook decided to make changes of their own as well. The website no longer allows me to automatically publish links to my blogs on my personal page. The only way to share the link on my page at the moment (at least, that I am aware of) is to manually publish each one as it goes live. Now we all know that is not going to happen! I’m going to do things as easily as possible and the thought of linking each post is simply another thing that I don’t want to do.

So there are changes coming to Livin’ Life. Until I find another option, this will be the last post to appear on my Facebook page. Some of you may be happy to see that your feed won’t be obstructed by their appearance. For those who want to continue following the blog, you can subscribe once you are on the homepage. The other change will be that the weekly “Hits and Misses” will not return for now. I’m not sure how long this hiatus will last. I simply found that I was spending more time providing brief accounts of my week rather than sharing stories and thoughts about how I’m experiencing the world around me. Those posts have felt like diary entries for a while instead of a chance to think through some things and let others come along for the ride. 

Just like my own life, change is a given. That’s what keeps me on my toes and enjoying the adventure as I continue Livin’ Life in West Texas. I gladly invite you to come along and watch the laughter and tears unfold.