My Favorite Things About Me

Well, this is an odd prompt. I can always tell another person the things that I appreciate most about them. Things that make me smile. Things that make me remember how much I love being with them. When it comes to myself though, I sometimes struggle. By my nature, I am always aware of the things about myself that I don’t like. The things I would like to change about myself. Given that fact, I suppose this is a really good exercise for me to do. So here goes….my three favorite things about myself.

1. My creative mind. For as long as I can remember, I have always been a dreamer. I can imagine all sorts of possibilities. It has served me well for many years in my work with children — whether in a classroom, a church ministry, or piano lessons. I like looking at something familiar and imaging a different way to approach the concept that leads to the same result. It’s also been great in envisioning events. I can imagine what things look like. I’m not always the best at coming up with the strategy to take us to the vision in my mind, but I’m getting better at that. I suppose it has something to do with all of the books that I have read and the fact that I am easily bored. I rarely want to do things the same way just because “we’ve always done it that way.”

2. My wit. Some people probably wish that my sarcasm and dry humor would change. I’ve finally come to the point that I really don’t care how others respond to my witty replies. That’s how I am wired and it is an expression of the joy I find in life. As long as we are having fun and being productive, there’s nothing wrong with a quirky, snarky, witty response.

3. My loyalty. At times, I am loyal to a fault — and it bites me in the butt. Most of the time, however, my loyalty leads to lasting friendships that stand the test of time. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who know the real me — warts and all — and love me in spite of my flaws. Once someone shows themself to be a true friend, I will be in their corner for life — and I’ll take out anyone who dares to attempt to hurt, embarrass, or stifle them. That’s the basis of loyal friendship in my book.

Hits and Misses (November 17-23)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• At the top of this week’s list has to be the exceptional senior recital of Madison Younger. I have performed lots of student recitals over the years. (I really need to sit down and count how many I’ve done at some point.) For an undergraduate recital, this was by far the best performance I have ever been involved with. The notes were learned correctly early in the process and we both knew what the “standard” performance would feel like. On Friday afternoon, with a great audience, we simply got to “play” and make music together. Because of our mutual preparation, Madison and I were free to make music in the moment with the confidence that our partner would pick up the theme and respond to the new inflection. The performance was full of life and communication. Those are the elements that make recitals fun and extremely rewarding.
• To begin the week, Anthony and I headed to Abernathy High School for a recruitment visit. Despite realizing that the damper pedal of the keyboard didn’t function properly and picking up “our old friend” the night before after it had lain dormant for several months, visiting with the AHS students was so much fun. They were attentive and responsive. Thank you, Mr. Knight, for allowing us the opportunity to share with your students. We look forward to seeing you all again in the future.
• I love my family — especially those that have chosen me and that I have chosen — and there’s nothing better than getting to enjoy Family Dinners with them. I adore getting everyone together for a big celebration and laughing together from time to time, but this week things were a little more personal. I am so thankful for the quiet meals I enjoyed sitting with family in a Lubbock Cracker Barrel after an emotionally charged day, sharing turkey and mashed potatoes in a crowded fellowship hall as we talked, and an unplanned visit to Chili’s just because we both needed to eat. The food was good. The fellowship was better. Knowing that I am loved — and not just tolerated — is priceless.
• As the semester comes to a close, jury preparation is in full swing. I’ve begun to work with a couple of instrumentalists this week and enjoyed hearing them play well while getting to collaborate with them as well. On the flip side, I’ve had a few laughs as some of my vocalists realized that they were not ready for juries….and have tried turning on the rocket boosters at the end of the semester.

MISSES

• There’s nothing harder than watching students deal with emotional pain. Some are very open with their feelings and the waterworks flow. Others keep their feelings bottled up and deal with the issues silently. Part of being invested in their lives is learning to see what’s going on behind their eyes. As stress levels rise and life has hit a couple of my kids hard, I’ve seen more pain this week than any young person should have to handle. Some have talked it out in my office. Others have allowed me the honor to pray with them….and some have been prayed over as they grabbed a cat nap in a moving car. While I count it an honor to be trusted enough to be allowed to see the hurt in their eyes, seeing the pain and knowing that there is so little I can do to ease their suffering has been incredibly tough. I just try to be part of their support system as they need it and continue to lift them up daily in prayer with the faith that things will be better eventually.
• I hate sitting through meetings when I don’t think I have much to contribute. There are just some things that don’t matter to me personally or that are completely outside of my wheelhouse. Oh well…time to head back to another meeting now.

• By Saturday morning, I felt as though an enormous truck had driven into my apartment and hit me at full force. This wasn’t sickness. It was emotional and physical exhaustion. There were things that I needed to get done, but had no energy for….so I left them undone. Instead, I sat in a recliner most of the day and did a little reading. I also took several naps in the recliner before curling up in bed for another power nap on Saturday afternoon. Yeah…..Thanksgiving break is going to be AWESOME!

Hits and Misses (November 10-16)

Here’s a look back at the week that was……finally…..

HITS

• It was a very good week in Midland, Texas for the most part. I was in Midland as part of the WBU Opera touring production of Salieri’s Prima la Musica. Madison, Franchesca, Edward, Bobby, Brian, and I performed 9 times (I think!?) for elementary students throughout the city. It was a lot of fun performing for young audiences of 2nd graders and spending time with the cast away from Plainview for a while.
• When you’re on the road, making new discoveries in the area is always quite fun. One of the best things we found this year was Susie’s South 40 Confections. The main store was charming with free samples scattered throughout. I’m not entirely sure the staff realized what they were doing when they told us to sample freely. I came home with small boxes of the butter toffee as well as the Texas Trash and peanut brittle (the latter two are already gone!), but my favorite of Susie’s treats is without a doubt the salted caramel. OH MY GOSH……they are simply amazing! I am treating them as happy pills right now — permitting myself to only indulge in one of them each day. Otherwise, I would inhale the rest of the box. Good find!
• An unexpected trip to the AT&T store so Madison could purchase a new phone after her’s died was an adventure. It’s mainly Madison’s story to tell of why we were there……but splish-splash! LOL!
• Few things restore my spirit like re-reading a favorite book. For the Midland trip, I grabbed my copy of Chaim Potok’s My Name is Asher Lev to begin reading. I was introduced to Potok’s writing in a Pepperdine English course and was immediately enthralled. When I began re-reading this week, I was reminded why this novel holds such a special place in my heart. As a young Jewish boy, Asher is discovering that he is a skilled artist. His passion for drawing and painting effects his academic progress and is a source of contention with his devoutly religious father. Potok wonderfully explores the intersection of art and faith while considering the sacrifices necessary to pursue a life devoted to the arts. I’m still making my way through the novel at the moment, but I have found myself cherishing every minute I am spending with young Asher on the pages of the novel.

MISSES

• While the tour was fun, being on the road for a week can be challenging. Sleeping in a strange bed is not the most relaxing thing in the world. When illness visited the cast in the middle of the week, things definitely got interesting. We were very thankful that it only lasted for a day, but many of our stomachs and throats were definitely on the mend throughout much of the week.
• Interacting with the dragon woman was not how we wanted to begin our week. Administrators have to protect their spaces. I get that. However, when your staff has made accommodations freely and you see that plans have changed, it might be a better idea to check with your staff first before barking at visiting artists. It’s just not an ideal way to build good will in professional relationships.
• Early morning performances are the pits! I think there should be a rule made that performers don’t work until 10am….period. Can someone make this happen? Please?
• Load-in, set moving, and strike. Is any explanation really necessary?

This Week’s Blog Posts

• I Would Like to Meet…
• Is Your Life What You Imagined?
• Where Do You Want to Be?
• When I Am Lost

When I Am Lost

Today’s question asks me to explore what I do when I am lost. Honestly, I rarely get lost anymore when driving because I generally do not go off my usual route without the aid of GPS. Now, there are times when I don’t know where I’m going when I’m walking…..that can be a different story.

When I was in Southern California, I was perpetually lost. These were the days before using GPS was commonplace. I knew that if I drove west from anywhere in the city, I would eventually find my way to a stretch of road that was familiar to me. If I got really lost, I would pick up my cell and dial Tiff’s number — even when she was in Chicago or Honolulu! — and ask her to get me back to the West Side. When my travels took me back as a visitor, I would generally either drag a fraternity brother with me to make sure I got where I needed to go or I would call Paulie and tell him to give me directions.

I’ve found myself in several unfamiliar surroundings recently. Travels to Europe last summer had me finally getting comfortable with a city’s general layout just as we were heading to our next destination. Each Fall’s trip to regional NATS competitions takes me to a new college campus that I am completely unfamiliar with. What’s my solution for getting around? I slap a city map, metro guide, or my performance schedule into the chest of a student standing nearby — usually Ryan, honestly — and tell him to get me where I need to go. In Europe, it was great fun to let the trio of students I ran around with navigate the city and explore some of the hidden corners that I would have missed otherwise. At NATS, I don’t have to worry about figuring out where all of the competition rooms are and can focus on the repertoire I have to play. While at UNT a few weeks ago, I was really thankful that Ryan and Erin helped me find the Starbucks and led me to Rita’s office for a much needed visit and hug.

So what do I do when I get lost? I turn to those I trust to guide me safely and quickly where I need to go. Ironic thing perhaps…..when I’m feeling lost in life — and feel as though the walls are caving in — the people I would call for directions to get me around in my car or on foot are also some of the first ones I reach out to for emotional support as well. I suppose that means that when I am lost — in whatever form it may take — I tend to turn to my most trusted friends.

Where Do You Want to Be?

My blog prompts have been hitting pretty close to home recently and today’s question is no different. At the moment, I am right where I want to be…..and far away from where I want to be too.

I’m right where I want to be at the moment, sitting in my chocolate brown recliner with my feet up and a Coke on the table next to me. For the past week, I’ve been in Midland, Texas, staying in a host home while playing for the WBU Opera touring production of La Prima Musica. Don’t get me wrong…..I thoroughly enjoyed getting to perform for most of the elementary students that attended the opera. I am so thankful to Permian Basin Opera for providing the opportunity to WBU Music and taking such good care of us while visiting the city. But after 9 performances, load-in, and strike, I’m pooped! My arms are achy — no pain, just extremely tired — and my mind is jelly at the moment. So since returning home this afternoon, I have spent most of the day sitting in this very chair. I’ve listened to a little music, done some reading, and watched a bit of television. I simply needed to spend the day doing nothing that was very taxing. It was great spending the week with my colleagues and our students as we performed…but I’m very thankful to be in my apartment again.

At the same time, my apartment is the last place I want to be at the moment. All week long, I have seen posts from previous years when I would visit Los Angeles around this time of the year on an almost annual basis. It’s not the scenery that I’m missing or even the weather. It’s not even the fun activities that I miss. I’m missing the people that have played such a special part in my life over the years. So….if I’ve spoken with you about making a road trip to L.A. this summer, know that I am completely serious. I want to do the touristy stuff as part of a fun summer trip. But I need to see some important people and just be myself for a while without any reservation.

But that’s not the only place I’m wishing I could be tonight. I’m missing the Geriatric Ward at the moment. Today is my dad’s birthday. I don’t have the best relationship with Pop and never have. I know that I am loved and he provided for me generously, but there was never a strong connection. I was the child of his later years who had no interest in outdoor activities and learning how things worked. Instead, I was the bookworm who would rather spend time at the piano or in a museum. We simply had very little in common and I don’t think either of us knew how to operate in the other’s world. So there was very little meaningful interaction.

Still, I love my dad and know that he will not be with us forever. He turned 83 today. In the past, he has battled cancer and heart complications. When I visit, I see that he is becoming more and more frail and the years are finally beginning to catch up with him. I wish I were closer to the Geriatric Ward so that I could make an effort to establish more of a relationship with him now that I know how that process works. Phone calls don’t do the trick for us though. And it appears that we will not be in the same locale on a regular basis any time soon. So for now, I have to make the best of the limited time I have in Arkansas and make the best of a less-than-ideal situation. I’ll be home for Thanksgiving in a few weeks and then again for the Christmas holidays a couple of weeks later. For now, that has to be enough.

So for right now, I am going to be content while I’m resting in Plainview, finish the work that is still before me, and know that I am right where I want to be at the moment as I also reflect on the other places that I want to be…..with the people that I wish I was near.

Is Your Life What You Imagined?

When I first read today’s blog prompt early this morning, I found myself a bit anxious thinking about answering the question. It is never a comfortable thing to have to face that plans did not work out quite as we had hoped or planned. As the day went on, however, I found that things have turned out mostly as I had imagined.

From my earliest years, I knew that I wanted to be a teacher. Originally, I imagined that I would teach math. I recall playing with my stuffed animals and imaginary friends as I would teach them fundamentals of addition, multiplication, and division. (For some reason, I never wanted to teach subtraction.) When I began to face advanced math courses in high school, my plans quickly changed and the topic of interest changed. There was a brief interest in teaching history and then it went to English literature. It was around that time that a guidance counselor first birthed the idea in my brain that I might pursue teaching music at the collegiate level.

When I began studying music at Pepperdine, I enjoyed all of the classes and saw the obvious career path of teaching piano. But then I was introduced to Sara Banta and I knew that I wanted a job like hers. Sara was on staff — not a member of the faculty yet — and taught a few piano lessons. What she spent most of her time doing was simply playing piano. Her studio was a revolving door of singers and instrumentalists rehearsing with her. Sara also provided accompaniment for opera and musical productions. That’s when the dream was born — I wanted to be a staff accompanist at a university.

Time would pass and I would learn that I actually wanted to pursue work as a collaborative pianist — basically a highly trained pianist specializing in chamber work who receives more respect than the term “accompanist” suggests — and I was on my way. I enjoyed learning all of the repertoire that kept life so exciting. I also liked the social aspect of the work. The hours alone in a practice room were not to my liking at all!

What didn’t turn out as I imagined? I never expected to be living in west Texas without the Geriatrics nearby. If I was going to leave them behind, I expected to be working in Southern California again. I never thought I would be teaching class piano. It was never a class that interested me at all. Now that I have gotten to take on a program and make it mine, my view of the course sequence has changed and the thought of giving it up is appalling to me. But for all of the things that didn’t turn out as I had imagined, I am very happy in my life right now. I’m blessed with colleagues that I adore and friends that keep me grounded. Things are actually quite good in my life…..and I know that I am incredibly blessed.

I Would Like to Meet….

We’ve all been asked the question at some point. If you could meet anyone — living or dead — and have dinner with them, who would you choose to spend time with? Typically, there are always qualifiers to the question. With the exception of Jesus….only one musician (or author). Every time the question is posed to me, my answers are always different. Who I would want to meet depends so much on what is going on in my life at the moment.

Tonight, I am in Midland, Texas at the end of the first day of the WBU Opera tour. We have presented our first performance of Salieri’s Prima la musica to students at a local charter school in the city on this very cold and windy day. When I first saw our young audience, I thought we were going to be in for a rough time because these students were so young. I assumed that a fairy tale would be the only type of performance that they could handle. Fortunately, I was mistaken. They connected with the relationships of the characters and repeatedly commented on their enjoyment of the singing. I completely underestimated their ability to appreciate the music. That experience influences tonight’s answer of who I would like to meet.

I would like to sit down and have a conversation with Maria Montessori. I have long been fascinated by those who choose to educate children; Dr. Montessori was a leader in that field. While I know her name, I know very little about her philosophy of education and how she arrived at her theories. While I can certainly learn more about the Montessori approach through reading, I would much rather hear from her first-hand. So tonight, that’s who I want to have dinner with so I can pick her brain and hear her heart and passion for educating the child.

Hits and Misses (November 3-9)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• A week that begins with Daylight Savings Time is always a hit in my book! I love getting the extra hour of sleep. Add to that a yummy brunch with friends in Denton at Seven Mile Cafe and I’m a really happy camper. (The French toast was AMAZING!) Then a smooth drive back to Plainview with lots of good conversation made for a really good start to the week.
• On Thursday evening, I attended the Composers’ Forum Concert at Tech with some of my students. It is always fun to hear world premieres of new pieces, but hearing them with young musicians is even better. I enjoy getting to hear what they discovered and what excited them as well. It doesn’t hurt that I really enjoy the company of this crew of college students either….
• Friday brought some really outstanding performances by some young singers. Performance Lab was especially moving for me to witness. (I am so proud of you!!!) Later that afternoon, I got to participate in the recital hearing for Madison Younger. Any time I get to take the stage with Madison, I know that I am in for an exciting experience. She is a very sensitive singer….and that makes collaborating with her a very fun thing to do! If you are anywhere near Plainview on Friday, November 22 at 4:30, you owe it to yourself to be in Harral Auditorium. This is going to be an outstanding recital that you do not want to miss. If you can’t be in west Texas, check out the livestream that afternoon on the School of Music Facebook page. (Message me if you need details on how to find us!)

MISSES

• Upon returning from Denton, I began to feel the first onset of a cold and I just didn’t feel very well all week. Of course, it’s also the beginning of November…so it was time for my annual cold to hit.
• When I don’t feel well, I easily get frustrated by everything. That summarizes much of my week. I just didn’t feel good physically or emotionally. I’m sure I wasn’t much fun to be around either.

Blog Posts This Week

• Impossible Dream

• Something You Hope For…

• What Good Are You Doing?

• The People Who Make Your Life Better

• Top 5 Favorite Movies

Top 5 Favorite Movies

Freeman writing about pop culture? This could be very interesting. My relationship with the movies has been interesting to say the least. Growing up in a Uber-conservative home, I stepped foot in a movie theater for the first time as an 18-year-old in a small Malibu theater. What did I see? Darkman. Never heard of it? Yeah, it was a pretty horrible film that was definitely not memorable. But the experience was truly wonderful and I was forever hooked on the magic of movies.

So what are my 5 favorite movies? Because I fell in love with movies as an adult, my taste in movies is normally very different from other people’s. Some of my favorites are associated with memories instead of the film itself. Some I first saw on VHS in the quiet of the Geriatric Ward. All of them have made a lasting impression on me.

1. Dead Poet’s Society. I was introduced to this film during freshman orientation at Pepperdine. It was combined with a reading of To Kill a Mockingbird and together served as our introduction to the discussion of ethics. I loved Robin Williams in this role and was mesmerized by the fact that the classroom could be a transformative place.

2. Top Gun. What can I say? Combine airplanes with a rebellious streak and I am hooked. Great music, great cast, great story. I could watch this one over and over without tiring of it.

3. MCU Universe. Okay, okay, I know this is not a movie, but the franchise as a whole has been amazing. I was first pulled into the films by seeing Black Panther and not really knowing what I was getting into. I was immediately hooked by the incredible visuals, the special effects, and the score. So I went back to Arkansas over the summer and binged through the entire series so I would be ready for the next theatrical release. Some of my favorite films from the franchise were definitely Doctor Strange and Thor: Ragnarok.

4. Beverly Hills Cop. It’s funny. It’s Eddie Murphy at his finest. Nothing more needs to be said.

5. The Sound of Music. I really cannot leave this film off the list (no matter how badly I want to!) There’s just something magical about the Austrian countryside, the humor of the children in their curtain-turned-into-clothes, Julie Andrews, and the familiar, iconic songs. It’s actually a love/hate relationship that I have with this film. I don’t want to like it — I feel as though I need to return my man-card — but I can’t skip over it when the holiday season arrives and sing along with every single song. I may need therapy for this condition.

The People Who Make Your Life Better

I am an extreme introvert. I don’t like to be in large crowds very often. Instead, I prefer small groups and intimate conversations. I suppose that is why I tend to make close connections with a small group of people. Throughout my life, I have been fortunate to have extremely close friends who know me well and make life better. What makes me even happier is that many of those who have played an important role in my life continue to remain close despite the passage of time and distance. When this prompt appeared this morning, I knew I would be in trouble if I tried to name everyone that makes my life better. I think I have come up with a solution by grouping people together.

Who are the people that make my life better?

• Mom. Okay, I’m gonna start by departing from the idea of grouping people together. I have always been a Momma’s boy and proud of it. Besides, I have it on good authority that I am Mom’s favorite child. Even though I always knew that I was loved, it wasn’t until I began graduate work and returned to my childhood home that I really began to appreciate my mother. As an adult, I was now able to have richer conversations with Mom and share my thoughts without fear of punishment. Mom quickly became my best friend and trusted confidant. Yeah….Mom definitely makes life better. (I really need to call her tomorrow. It’s been a busy few weeks and I simply haven’t had time or energy for a lengthy conversation.)
• The Malibu Crew. There were so many people who became treasured friends while I was at Pepperdine. Most of them were fraternity brothers and I continue to love them deeply. However, if I have to narrow the list to a few that I knew as students, it’s easy to talk about Jeff, Paulie, and Tiffany. (Trust me….there are plenty of others that could be added to that list!) Tiff is the friend who was a student with me the longest. We knew each other from a distance for several years, but our friendship really blossomed while we both lived in an apartment at Steeplechase! Tiff became a trusted friend who understood my fears and challenges…and loved me in spite of it all! Tiff lives in Hawaii these days, so I rarely get to see her. When we do, it’s as though we are picking up right where we left off. Paulie and Jeff are fraternity brothers. Paulie was in Malibu with me….Jeff and I would meet when he was a student, but our friendship would grow when we were both alums. The three of us have seen many late October/early November Malibu sunrises and sunsets together over the years. As we have aged, those times have moved beyond us, but we still remain connected. It has been far too long since I have sat around a table with these two men that I love and adore. There’s nothing better than that either! A return trip to Southern California is definitely in order now.
• Pepperdine staff. I was so blessed by the adults that God placed in my life while I was a student. The Campus Life staff – Hung, Rita, Lori, and Bob – made a tremendous impact on my life and continue to be treasured friends. Scott and LuJuana – the campus ministers – listened to me cry in sorrow and anger many times. Sandy and Rich practically adopted me as a member of the family. Chris and Claudia allowed a floundering pair of upperclassmen to rent a room in their faculty condo and became friends.
• The Roberts family. If you read last week’s Hits and Misses, you have already read my feelings about my adopted Texas family. But since the topic came up again today, I have to include them here as well. Jack, Christi, Ryan, and Chase (and Andrea too!)….I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I’ll forever be thankful for that fateful night in Harral Auditorium when Mrs. Gayle asked what time I would be in my office the next morning…..because she needed to make sure her oldest grandson came to visit me. Who would have imagined that such an awkward moment would turn into such a tremendous blessing to me? I adore all of you (yeah, even you……) and look forward to what adventures await in the future.
• My brother-from-another-mother. It’s sometimes surprising how friendships grow quickly and unexpectedly. During my first year of work at WBU, actually the very first week, I already found myself flustered. (I know it’s hard to believe!) I walked down the hall and into an office with an open door. I closed the door, exclaimed a few choice words, shared a laugh, and the rest is history. From the unlikeliest of pairs, Anthony has become my most trusted friend who is able to read me like a book. We’ve had many adventures together over the past 5 years….shared a lot of laughs together and shed a few tears…..and I’m looking forward to whatever else our crazy brains concoct!