Daily Dribble – June 4, 2020

Today was a challenging day. I was just sad much of the day. I think I was continuing to think about Matt’s death.

Knowing I Am Loved

I knew that the day was starting off to be tough, so I determined to record a hymn arrangement to see if that would help me express some of my emotions. While I was sitting at the piano, I got a text message from my kid. He just wanted to check on me and make sure I was doing okay. He said he knew it had been a tough couple of weeks and that he was thinking about me. It was the perfect affirmation that I really needed to hear today.

Banking Challenges

The Geriatrics received their stimulus check in the form of a Visa ATM card. Neither of them deal with debit cards at all and I feared that Dad was going to lose the card, so I recommended to him that he take it to the bank to have the cash transferred into his banking account. This afternoon, he shared with me this insane process the bank teller told him he would have to go through in order to do that. You have got to be kidding me? The bank is going to require my 80+-year-old parents to visit the ATM on 3 different days to withdraw money, then wait to go through the drive-thru window to deposit the same cash into the same institution that they just withdrew the money from. How does this make sense?

I was convinced that the teller did not understand what Pop was asking them to do, so I called the main office of the bank to speak with someone. I was told the same thing and was a little flabbergasted. I confirmed that the woman understood that we were talking about a stimulus package from the United States government. She knew I was irritated when I confirmed that a paper check could be deposited in its entirety, but a debit card cannot be transferred to their account even though it is issued by the very same institution. When I further made note of the fact that my parents fall into the very category of high risk individuals we are trying to protect during this pandemic, yet their financial institution is requiring them to leave the safety of their home on THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS to complete the banking transaction…..I think she got the message that I was just a wee bit irritated. Mom and Dad have already been thinking about moving their accounts from Regions Bank for a while. This is probably a new level of stupidity that will seal that deal.

Wasting My Time

Why do parents feel the need to force their children to take piano lessons if they are not going to make sure that the child actually practices between lessons? Don’t toss it in my lap that you don’t know what the assignment is each week…..especially when both parents are musicians. My time is too valuable to be wasted on uninterested students. I can also devote that time to students who actually WANT to study with me. I guess I’m becoming a hard hearted teacher in my old age!

Daily Dribble – June 3, 2020

A Sad Occasion

This afternoon, I attended the funeral for Matt Robbins. It was such as sad event. It became very clear to me that the person I knew was not the man that others present knew. I suppose that is why the event was so sad for me. I left with the realization that people that I trust and respect knew a very different Matt than the one I endured. I don’t know what brought about Matt’s disdain for me. I suppose I will never know. Comments made today about the transformation that occurred later in life leaves me with hope that I just came into the picture during a season when Matt was less than welcoming. Tonight, I’m filled with regret that I did not have the opportunity to meet the man that sounds as though he would be a loyal and devoted friend. The worst part is that I really don’t think there is anything I could have done to change the situation.

Privilege to Serve

Despite my personal experience with Matt, two friends were struggling with his passing. I had the distinct honor to offer support and love to them today. One — I have known since high school and cherished for many years. The other was nothing more than an acquaintence while I was at Pepperdine. In recent weeks, I became a source of information and I think I showed him that I wanted to treat him with respect and was sensitive to the hurt that comes with losing a friend. Matt was a member of my fraternity — even if we were not actives at the same time. Even though he did everything in his power to keep me from becoming a Lambda all those years ago. Still, because of the common experiences we shared and my commitment to the brotherhood, I owed it to him to serve those whom he loved and who loved him dearly. I can rest in the knowledge that I did the very best job I could.

Daily Dribble – June 2, 2020

Connecting With Friends

Death is sadly one way when people are brought back together to reconnect. This evening, I attended the visitation for Matthew Robbins. I walked in and paid my respects, then made my way directly over to where I saw classmates sitting together in the sanctuary. It was so good to have a few minutes to reconnect with Lori, Janet, Angie, and Stephen. The reason that brought us together was tragic and sorrowful, but it was wonderful to be together in our time of grief. I forget how much I did enjoy this group of people. I have a tendency to focus on the people that made life less than pleasant during my high school years. It’s nice to see that there are better memories there.

Awkward Introductions

Over the past few weeks, I have connected with many people that I have never actually met in person. As I shared updates on Matt, lots of people followed along since my profile can be viewed by the public — one of the things that my career requires. One of the people that I met was a charming man from Dallas, Chris. Our conversations online have been very friendly and we have shared stories and hurt as we grieve for Matt and his family. Tonight, I finally met Chris in person….and I was terribly awkward. I was trying to figure out how to navigate my way through time with high school friends. It also didn’t feel like the appropriate time to simply have a conversation and getting to know this man better. I hope to be able to adequately convey that feeling in the days following the services. Chris seems like a really neat guy that I would enjoy getting to know. I just wish that I had met him in a different circumstance. Death sucks!

Rocking a Headache

Life got busy this afternoon and I didn’t take the time to eat lunch. As dinner time was rolling around, I was beginning to get a headache. For some reason, Mom was delaying dinner tonight….still not entirely sure what was going on there. I went to the living room and asked how much longer it would be until we ate. She got supper going, but not before I developed a headache that would not be mollified! Lesson learned. I have got to make sure that I schedule lunch daily — and actually eat something, whether I really want to or not!

 

Daily Dribble – June 1, 2020

Another month is here. My summer break is going to be over before it feels it has even really begun.

Wasted Time

There are few things that irritate me more than having my time wasted. I had a lesson scheduled this afternoon. I planned the entire day around it, making sure I was sitting at the piano in plenty of time to teach my student. I placed the call and there was no answer. Actually, one of the parents — had to invite both to the meeting since they can never clarify who is actually accepting the call on any given lesson — rejected the call. After 10 minutes of waiting, I decided that it wasn’t going to happen. I finally got a message an hour later explaining that they had been out running errands and Mom had left her phone at home. Like the understanding teacher, I got to express how I understood that things like that can happen and that we can just pick up next week. What I really wanted to say was that I deserve a little more respect than that! How frickin’ hard is it to notify someone in advance that you cannot keep a commitment? If the roles had been reversed, I would be crucified for not keeping my commitments. To say that I am fed up with this family — since this is not the first time this crap has happened — is a bit of an understatement.

The Last Five Years

I decided to watch the movie of the musical that I adore. The music is amazing. It’s a production that I have always wanted to be involved with ever since I first heard the soundtrack. Anna Kendrick reminds me too much of every half-baked soprano that has ever hoped to play Cathy. Jeremy Jordan, on the other hand, is a voice that I could listen to in almost any contemporary role. He is really quite talented. Tonight was the first time I actually watched the film in its entirety….and I can’t decide which character I think is a bigger pile of doo. I suppose it was the perfect ending to a not-so-perfect beginning to the month of June. Thankfully, tomorrow is another day!