Hits & Misses (February 18-24)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• It was so good to be back home and to start playing again. Even though I love getting to talk to prospective students, I missed having time set aside each day at the piano.
• With the return home, I also got back to my journaling. TMEA was filled with long days and lots of work. By the time I made it back to my hotel each evening, the only thing I wanted to do was watch a few minutes of mindless television and collapse into my bed. I didn’t realize how much I had missed writing down my thoughts at the end of the day and clearing space in my head.
• It’s such a joy to play a preliminary hearing for a fully prepared student recital. They don’t come along as often as they should, so it is really nice when it happens!
• The middle of the semester can be a stressful time for students and faculty alike. When the stress comes, it is always a relief to see the return of joy to faces as we realize that the stress will ultimately come to an end and everything will be fine. I was also thrilled when one of those stressed students asked for help and began getting some personal tutoring. It’s so fun to see light bulb moments as well as the relief and pride that accompany it.
• At the end of a very stressful week, it was great to sit with friends late on a Friday evening and just enjoy the laughter. It released stressed, brought healing to wearied souls, and reminded us all that there is hope in the midst of struggle.

MISSES

• After a very long weekend and not enough rest, I found myself very snippy early in the week. When I found myself annoyed with students, they heard about it right away….probably a little more forcefully than they were accustomed to….but the correction was justified.
• People can be petty. There’s nothing worse than dealing with people who get their feathers ruffled over a situation that simply does not matter. Part of me hates that you were upset; the other part of me says that you need to get over it. Eh….
• Discouragement seems to be running rampant. It’s a tough time of the year and there is a lot of uncertainty in the air. I think it’s a combination of the extremely busy schedule we are facing as well as the mostly gloomy weather. It’s not a formula for great attitudes. I hate to see people struggling with discouragement and am offering as much encouragement as I can.
• On the flip side, there also seems to be a lot of entitlement floating around right now. I don’t know if I feel sorry for those displaying such ignorance because they “don’t know what they don’t know yet” [Thanks for that great phrase, Pastor Jason!] or if it simply pisses me off. I have a job to do with a very clear job description. However, a student will not dictate to me how I perform said tasks just because they think there is a better way to accomplish the task. Sadly, I’ve had to have that very conversation with a few students this week and I really hope they have gotten the message clearly because I don’t plan to repeat it again.

Am I Good Enough?

It’s a question that we have all asked ourselves at one time or another. Am I good enough? Can I really accomplish what I have set out to do? The voices of criticism and failure in our head become so loud that we inevitably begin to self destruct. We stay in a destructive relationship rather than facing the accusing voices that we will never be loved. We doubt our ability to succeed as a student because the inner critic — often disguised as a former teacher — declares us stupid or unable to master the material. As musicians, we sabotage our performances before we even take the stage because we are so convinced that the outcome will be tragic. Self-doubt can be crippling! However, we do not have to accept a life-sentence and continue listening to the inner critics that torment us. I have struggled with self-doubt for many years. The voices have not been completely silenced, but I now know how to quiet them. Here are some of the tips that I have learned that have proven extremely helpful.

Identify the source of the self-doubt. Is there a voice that you hear from your inner critic? Perhaps it comes in the voice of an overly critical teacher, a demanding parent, or a sibling or significant other who proclaimed you would never become anything of worth. Sometimes the source of criticism is your own response to a past failure. Once you have identified the source, you can now begin to deal with the problem at its core.

Expose the lie! It’s time to face the criticism head on — once and for all. Try to see the situation from a new point of view. Was the comment that continues to haunt you said in anger, jealousy, or ignorance? Was it the result of domestic or verbal abuse that you experienced? Once you can identify the source and determine that it is a lie, then you can begin to speak new words of truth into your life.  Some of my favorite statements that I make to myself include:

• My past does not define my future.
• A single failed attempt does not mean anything….except that I tried! That’s more than some people can say because they continue to live in fear of failure.
• Failures are part of the development and growth process. If I don’t try something, I cannot learn how to accomplish anything.
• As a Christian, I hold to the promise that “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13, NASB)

If necessary, seek professional help. There is no shame in seeking out the services of a trained professional to help you work through the struggles of dealing with self-doubt. Counseling is a wonderful resource that can provide you with a confidant who can look at the situation objectively and provide suggestions for moving through the difficult times.

Change your thought process. Now that you know that the inner critic is not speaking truth into your life, change the message that you are hearing in your head. Speak words of success to yourself. Turn all of those “I can’t….” statements into phrases like “I’m working on it” or “I’m learning how to do it.” Sometimes it is necessary to realize that the negativity is also coming from a friend; if you find that someone is triggering those negative feelings within you, it may be time to generate some distance between you and the negative person.

Celebrate the little victories. Maybe you can’t achieve your goal right away (most of us can’t!), but notice the small successes that come each day and celebrate those. Give yourself a pat on the back when you make some headway and realize that this is the beginning of your path to success. Your journey may not look like anyone else’s, but remember that your ultimate goal is success and happiness.

Above all, determine to stay the course. There will be challenging days. That’s normal. Just keep moving toward your goal and continue to silence the voices that bring you down.

 

Hits and Misses (February 11-17)

Here’s a look back at the week that was…..

HITS

• This week was all about attending TMEA in San Antonio. It is always nice to connect with other music professionals from around the state to realize that I am not alone in my pursuit of outstanding musical education in the quiet plains of west Texas. I also enjoyed returning to my element and talking to high school students about their future collegiate plans and dreams.
• While sitting in the booth, there is always a lot of downtime. It was great to have extended conversations with friends about music and life. We don’t always have time for such talks when we are in the office.
• Speaking of the office, it was also nice to be out of the office for a few days. No lectures to plan. No practicing to do. It was a nice respite, but now I’m definitely ready to get back to work.
• After attending the TMEA conference, the music faculty and a few of our students performed in Steinway Hall for alumni and faculty of the San Antonio campus. It was a successful event and I learned a few lessons about performing after being “out” for a few days.
• Long drives are the perfect time to listen to some recordings that I have missed. This trip was all about musicals. Heard some interesting things to say the least.

 

MISSES

• Why is it that lightbulbs blow at the most inconvenient time?
• Spending a few days in downtown San Antonio reminded me that I do not walk as much as I used to….and my feet are not used to the beating they took on the city’s pavement. Ouch!
• Even though it was a great week, there is no better word to describe my current state – EXHAUSTED! I’m looking forward to a few days of restful evenings to catch my breath again.

 

A Lifetime of Love

Earlier this week, my parents (better known as the Geriatric Patients) celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. It has been one of the great honors of my life to witness the strength of their marriage through all of the ups and downs that they have weathered. As I reflected on their long marriage, I began to ask myself what held them together for so long when so many others have failed. Here are a few of the things that I think have been the very core of their successful marriage:

• Faith. When it all comes down to it, Mom and Dad firmly believe that a marriage based on faith in Christ is destined to succeed. I remember walking out of my bedroom most mornings growing up and being greeted by the soft sounds of Mom reading a passage of Scripture that is then followed by fervent prayer by both of them. When I return home now for vacation, I am still comforted by the sight of their open Bibles and the sound of their morning prayers together.
• Respect. Despite their inevitable disagreements, Mom and Dad always treat each other with respect. Sometimes that means walking away and remaining silent. Most of the time, that respect is displayed in their willingness to listen to the other person’s opinion and then reaching a compromise together.
• Humor. My parents find much of their life extremely funny. They crack each other up! It is true that no matter how stressful a situation appears, laughter is an excellent stress reliever.
• Trust. Regardless of the situation or how things may first appear, my parents know that both of them are working together in the best interest of each other and our family. Over the years, they have learned to trust each other without reservation. So there is no fear that Mom is making poor choices when managing the household finances or when Pop is taking a stand. There may be discussion between the two of them about the best choice to make, but it is never based on a lack of trust in each other’s motives.
• Love. I’ve heard throughout my life that love grows stronger over time — and I have witnessed it first hand in my parents’ marriage. They still look at each other with a twinkle in their eye. There is seldom a morning that doesn’t include a tender kiss before Pop heads out the door to begin the day. I witnessed their love as Mom sat by a hospital bed, monitoring Dad’s recovery after bypass surgery and Dad’s gentle assurances once he got home that everything would return to normal soon. 
• Commitment and WORK. In spite of all of the above things that have made their marriage work, Mom and Dad will tell anyone who asks the secret to a happy marriage is a lifelong commitment and lots of hard work. They will be the first to tell you that it is not always smooth sailing. On those days, they consciously make the decision to honor their vows and be partners “for better or for worse.” Honestly, it is on those tough days that the strength of their marriage is most inspiring.

 

Mom and Dad’s marriage has not been perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it has been strong and has weathered lots of tough times. It has been an inspiration to me and my siblings and proof that marriage can work. Now we only wish that they would have another 60 years together!

Edited with BlogPad Pro

Hits and Misses (February 4-10)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• Sunday was an exceptional day! I enjoyed lunch with good friends at Toyko’s as several of us celebrated our upcoming birthdays. Later in the afternoon, I got to meet Leo Olivares. This newborn is definitely going to be a charmer! There’s nothing quite like that “new baby smell” either.
• It is also fun to get to make future plans. I can’t give away all of the details yet, but it promises to be fun for everyone involved and give pianists and singers alike a chance to get away from west Texas for a bit.
• Few things are more invigorating than truly engaged students. I love when a student bursts into my office proclaiming that they have finally figured out the skill that was causing so much difficulty for them. The enthusiasm continues as I get to affirm that they are correct in their understanding and then I get to watch as new revelations and understandings take place before my eyes. Just a few hours later, another student approached me for advice on exactly HOW to practice a challenging piece of music. Both of these are the kinds of conversations with my students that I live for!
• On Thursday afternoon and evening, I got to be a part of another concert with the Panhandle Chapter of the Singing Men of Texas. The repertoire was the same as always, but I got to watch as a friend experienced singing with the group for the first time. I also got to play on a beautifully rebuilt Steinway in the church in Pampa that is blessed with amazing acoustics. It was a long day with a lot of playing. My body was exhausted by the end of it all….but my inner musician was soaring at the end of a very successful performance.

MISSES

• All of this cold weather needs to leave the Panhandle already! I don’t know how many more of these warm Spring days followed by Arctic blasts I can take this season.
• Additionally, teenagers with metronomes should be outlawed. Perhaps a better statement is that teenagers should not be armed with metronomes if the teachers in their classes are not going to bother to teach them to use the equipment appropriately in their practice time.
• I dropped some things at the Dry Cleaners in preparation for an upcoming trip and realized how much they rip us off! One suit coat — ONE! — cost me $8.50! I have got to find another option for caring for my suits. That’s just outrageous!
• I thought the concept of a Fried Twinkie sounded great until I finally tried one. NOPE, NUH-UH, NADA, KEEP MOVING! Twinkies should not be desecrated in such a way. I definitely won’t make that mistake again!
• Whether you are in a kitchen, a rehearsal, or a meeting, having too many cooks in the proverbial kitchen is both unproductive and extremely frustrating. Give the person with the recipe in hand the reins! I don’t need to hear your opinions of how things can be done better. Simply do your part, shut your mouth, and let’s get the job done so we can all go on with our lives! Rant over!
• News Flash! The flu is going around. So please be considerate to the other people in your world — whether you like them or not. If you are throwing up, please don’t come to work or school — no matter how important of a role you think you play. If you have to cough, make sure that when you turn your back to hack up your lung that you are NOT FLINGING YOUR GERMS IN MY FACE! Gross! (Yep…..both of those things happened this week! Do I really need to explain why neither is acceptable to seemingly intelligent people?)
• Want to make a stressful situation feel worse? Just add an unexpected wave of nausea! On Friday afternoon, a sudden bout of the dreaded feeling hit me just before I was to play a recital hearing for a student. Thankfully the sensation did not last very long and I regained my strength as I continued playing through the program. Even though I didn’t get sick, I hated that momentary feeling of queasiness.

 

Birthday Memories

As another year ticks off the calendar and I am about to turn another year older (DON’T ASK!), I have been thinking about what my birthday celebrations have looked like over the years. This year the celebration of another year of life began with lunch with some new friends here in Texas that are honestly becoming family to me. On the big day, I’ll be attending a work conference in San Antonio — so I’ll get to enjoy some good food and a relaxed pace. I’m definitely looking forward to that!

As a child, birthday celebrations were pretty much the same every year. On the Saturday before the big day, Mom would invite some of my friends to our home for a party. The table always featured a chocolate sheet cake that was laden with pre-packaged candy pieces spelling “Happy Birthday.” (Mom wasn’t much of a cake decorator,  so giving my friends and me a sugar rush filled the gap.) There were always gifts — normally the latest electronic toy — and lots of games. These were happy times because I was surrounded by people I loved.

When I moved away from home to attend college, I knew the birthday celebration was going to be much different. I had no idea just how different though. The Alumni Association sold birthday cakes to parents that could be delivered to the student dorm. Mom decided that I needed one my freshman year. It was a nice thought…but that cake was HORRIBLE! It was a chocolate fudge bundt that was drizzled with fudge. It looked great, but once your fork hit the dessert, you knew this was going to end badly. My roommates and I laughed as we broke plastic forks in our effort to eat it. We finally used our hands to break off a few bites to realize that it only looked enticing. We quickly tossed the cement block of cake in the nearby trash.

On the morning of my birthday, I was greeted outside of the piano lab that doubled as the classroom for my 9am theory class by most of my classmates and a plate of cupcakes. I think it was either Stacey or Kari that baked the goodies….and they were SO MUCH BETTER than the horrible cake Mom sent. My colleagues and I had a great time in the hall together that poured into the classroom. I’m not entirely sure how Dr. Cobb felt about our celebration — although I tend to forget most of Dr. Cobb’s reactions anyway. We probably just laughed at his dry attempts at humor. 

As the years continued, birthdays became more and more fun as they involved trips to Red Robin and Pierview with friends. (I still miss sitting at the outside tables overlooking the ocean while munching on a basket of fries!) There were shopping trips and adventures in Westwood. Phone calls from those studying overseas were always a special treat. Birthdays were never about the gifts or the party for me — although the food was always a nice addition. It was always nice to hear from so many people on that one day that have played such an important role in my life. 

Hits and Misses (January 28 – February 3)

Here’s a look back at the week that was….

HITS

• A day filled with lots of piano music is always a great day.  On Monday, the School of Music welcomed nearly 80 young pianists to campus for our annual Talkington School Piano Day. We listened to some fine solos, offered suggestions for further improvement, and even conducted an entrance audition while the girls were here. It is always an incredibly busy day with a flurry of activity, but it is also one of the highlights of the year for me.
• I’ve been able to spend a short amount of time with kids this week — and it made me realize just how much I miss interacting with children on a regular basis.  On Thursday, I got to deliver birthday cards to Hannah as well as some “you are an awesome brother” cards to Luke. Hannah & Luke just returned from the Dallas area while Hannah was undergoing radiation therapy. The kids (as well as Mom and Dad) have been greatly missed around Plainview…..and I think I speak for everyone that knows and loves them that we are glad they are home.  This week also saw the arrival of Plainview’s newest resident! Leo Raphael arrived on Wednesday night to Sara & Alex. Mother and baby are both home and resting. It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that I can hardly wait to get to meet the little bundle of joy, cradle him for a while, and whisper a quiet prayer over him as he begins his life’s journey.
• At the end of the week, I got to enjoy a series of Beethoven recitals performed by my colleague, Richard Fountain. As part of a 3 year celebration of Beethoven’s anniversary coming in 2020, Richard has decided to perform all nine of the Liszt transcriptions of Beethoven’s symphonies and pair each with a piano sonata in the same key. This year featured Symphonies 1, 6, and 3. While I have great admiration and respect for the transcriptions and Richard’s performance of them, I have been enraptured by the splendid performances of the sonatas. I think it is time that I begin to revisit these monumental works again on my own as well. 

MISSES

• Every church music director’s worse nightmare is to receive the last minute call that your regular drummer is sick and you will be working with a sub in the morning service. There are just sometimes that nothing can adequately replace the original!
• On Tuesday, the piano lab briefly turned into a mail room. It’s never a fun revelation when you realize that an enormous mailing was not sorted properly and needs to be corrected in order to receive the bulk rate for postage. Over the years, I have been involved with corrections of this type of problem in Admissions and Campus Life while working at Pepperdine — so I fully know what kind of headache it is.  It didn’t take Pam and me too long to get it sorted out…..but it still qualifies as a “Miss” for the week. 
• Nothing is more frustrating than waking before your alarm during a busy week and not being able to go back to sleep! On Wednesday morning, I crawled out of bed at 4:15am, picked up my novel and to-do list and got the day going. Sadly, it wasn’t a single occurrence either! I was up-and-at-em by 4:45am on Thursday too. It’s nice to have gotten some things accomplished before the morning really started, but I was ready to begin enjoying some restful nights as well. 
• Teenagers with attitudes should have their heads pinched off! While playing for a voice competition on Saturday, I had a student stop in the middle of her performance and tell me that I was playing the accompaniment all wrong. When I gently told her that the chord was actually written a beat before her entrance, she flung her hair around and told me that I simply didn’t know how it was supposed to go. Since I was sitting in front of a judge, I didn’t tell her what a piece of work I thought she was, but I’m certain that my glare when we exited the room sent the message to her loud and clear. I hope she understands that her “diva card” has been revoked. (and that whoever issued it to her LIED to her!)

 

Celebrate February!

February is here! That means it is time to let the celebrating begin! In my family, February has always been a month filled with lots of love, chocolate, and meals together. Everything centers around the 14th day of the month for us.  Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day…..but it is also the day that the Geriatrics got married…….and gave birth to their favorite best youngest son (that would be ME, in case you’re wondering!)….and the day that the first grandchild, Jacquelyn, came along. As you can see, we have a lot to celebrate — so it takes a lot of time. I realize that some people might be in need of other things to celebrate during the month of February — although I can’t imagine that you would want to celebrate anything other than the members of the Geriatric Ward (old and young) since we are clearly such humble and lovable people! Nevertheless, as your ever helpful blogger, I have taken the time to find some other holidays and celebrations in which you can participate if you so choose. (All of these celebrations are listed as part of the National Awareness Calendar on http://www.thebalance.com.)

Let’s begin with the serious (and important) events. Most of us know that February is Black History Month.  It is also the month to focus on our cardiac health as we observe American Heart Month.

It seems that several of the celebrations center around Valentine’s Day. If you fail to remember to get your valentine flowers…..or chocolates……or a card, at least, you may need to observe Relationship Wellness Month. The other two associated holidays depend upon how things go for you on the 14th.  February is National Condom Month as well as National Mend-a-Broken-Heart Month. 

Erhmhm….moving along……

If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, February’s time for romance is further represented through food celebrations.  It’s no surprise that we celebrate Chocolate Lovers Month. (I will sacrifice myself and participate in this important event so you can avoid the temptation.  Milk chocolate only, please.) February is also National Snack Food Month and Great American Pies Month. I suppose it’s appropriate to focus on all of this food since so many of us have given up on our New Year’s resolutions and are no longer participating in the January celebration of National Diet Month!

If food is not how you get your high, there’s always the celebration of Marijuana Awareness Month! Before you get too excited, my dear ones, this celebration focuses on prevention of the substance’s abuse by adolescents. (One must wonder how much longer this February holiday will continue to be celebrated.) Personally, I find my thrills celebrating Library Lovers’ Month. Take it from this bibliophile — a trip to your local library is an experience that can lead to a lifelong habit that is also good for you emotionally and mentally.

Not sure how you can possibly participate in all of these celebrations during the short month? Perhaps it’s time that you observe National Time Management Month.

Whichever of these observances you choose to participate in, find something that brings you happiness and celebrate the love you have with family and friends this February. Now….move outta my wait……if no one comes between me and the chocolate, no one will get hurt!  Happy February, y’all.