Answers You Never Wanted

When I first planned to write this post, it was going to be a long rant about being asked questions by people that didn’t really want to hear the truthful answers from you. Instead, they just wanted you to mindlessly comply and agree with the posit they had presented. As I prepared to tell you about the eye rolling and my frustration, LIFE happened and brought a much more important story to tell.

Let me introduce you to my friend, Stacy. Stacy and I attended Pepperdine together and both majored in music. I don’t remember how our connection started — just looking at the two of us, you never would have expected us to be good friends — but that’s what happened. We studied together, hung out in the practice rooms together, and just did life together for many years. As we neared graduation, life took us in different directions, but we remained friends.

After graduation, Stacy and I lost touch. I often wondered how life had treated her after returning to her native Wisconsin. With the birth of Facebook, Stacy and I reconnected and I got my answers. It was always fun to see her posts and feel as though I had some idea what was going on in her life. A few weeks ago, I began to follow her daily posts with much more interest. One of her children, August (who is also called “Auggie”) began to have a medical crisis.

Auggie’s day began as usual, but in a flash, he was suddenly unable to walk or use muscles on one side of his body. Immediately hospitalized in a Wisconsin children’s hospital, the search for the cause of his illness began. I watched in horror from a distance as this child that I have never met became worse daily. He was unable to keep food down and was obviously becoming frustrated with his weakened condition. Stacy and her husband, Grant, were dealing with sleepless nights since one of them had to stay with Auggie around the clock because the hospital couldn’t provide staff to help the child clear his throat in the event of another vomiting episode. (Because of Auggie’s inability to move, he would choke without assistance.)

Doctors provided lots of hypotheses about Auggie’s condition. I cringed as I read of each new test this once-vibrant child was facing. Each new test ruled out a possible condition, but answers seemed to be fleeting. As the search for a cause continued, Auggie began to face hours of therapy in addition to the medical tests. This child needed to learn how to function in a wheelchair as well as how to complete basic tasks to return to some level of normalcy. By this point, I was ready to hop in my car and make a trip to Wisconsin! Even if I didn’t know Grant or the kids, there had to be something I could do to help. The fact that I had no car available while recovering from my own accident helped me decide that the best thing I could do right now was to follow the daily updates and vigilantly pray for this precious child.

After several weeks of struggles for the family, the update no one wanted to see appeared. It had become clear that Auggie was a very sick child. On a late May afternoon, Stacy shared a beautiful post that Grant had written announcing the findings. Their son had been diagnosed with juvenile Multiple Sclerosis (MS). My heart broke for Auggie. In a moment, his life — and the lives of his family and friends — were forever changed. It was definitely an answer that no one wanted to hear.

So now what? How does this impact me? My prayer has become that I won’t forget about Auggie, Stacy, and Grant in the weeks and months ahead and that I will continue to intercede for them. In the meantime, I am educating myself about MS — its treatment, research, and fund raising efforts. I’m hoping to learn if there are any plans in the works for a benefit concert for Auggie — Stacy has been actively involved in the thriving theater in her community — and see if I can join the efforts as a performer. But most of all, I will thank God for the healthy children around me and ask for His mercy and peace to be poured out on those dealing with life-altering illnesses as part of their daily routine.

• P.S. – Livin’ Life will not appear on Monday in observance of the Memorial Day holiday. I’ll be spending the day with family, but posts will resume on Wednesday with the latest installment of “Hits and Misses.”

Withdrawals



It happens every year around this time. I start to experience withdrawals. It is like a drug. My mind races. Everywhere I look, I find that I am tempted to return to my addiction. It’s in my blood and it just won’t let go! What am I addicted to? Kids….and summer is the absolute worst time for me!

Much of my adult life has been spent working with kids in various ways…..in the church, in theater, in the schools. Summer was always the highlight of the year for me. Once school was out, kids were much more relaxed and ready to have fun. They were a joy to be around and I was always amazed at the things they could accomplish in a short period of time. Summer became a time of getting involved in community theater — and I always managed to be surrounded by the children in the cast. Quickly, these summer musicals became planning sessions for youth theater productions. (I miss working with you, Daphne. We really did some good shows together, didn’t we?)

Shortly after returning to Arkansas from Pepperdine, Jacqs appeared in my life. This 8-year-old girl was smart and active. Summers were full of activity — whether we were zipping off to the Pink Palace Museum or to the local library — we were always on the go. (I suppose this began as an effort to keep her mind off of the fact that her Daddy was away on a business trip shortly after moving back to Arkansas. Once we hit the road together, we became fast friends and the running never stopped.) As Jacqs grew into a teen, two other girls entered the scene — Kristian and Sara — and kept me just as busy. As I became more involved in the lives of my nieces, I also took on more and more responsibility in children’s ministry.

My ministry to children became marked by the inclusion of musical and theater arts. Summers and Christmas generally involved the production of a song and dance extravaganza that we pieced together in just a few weeks. Before leaving bi-vocational ministry, I had produced and directed just over 20 of these children’s musicals. I loved doing them because I got to combine my personal love of music and theater with my passion for the spiritual development of children. Few noticed that the musicals began when Jacqs got involved in the local church; the last one was completed just as Kristian and Sara were moving into the teen area. I pushed through some difficult circumstances in order to see the completion of the ministry to them.

Things have certainly changed for me. Jacqs has grown up, gotten married, and has a child of her own. Kristian will be graduating in a few days and Sara is not that far behind. I have fond memories of working with the girls and the other children that I was responsible for during those years. I miss the giggles and warm hugs that come from the children. Nothing is better than seeing a child’s eyes light up with understanding and faith as they learn important truths and grow in their personal relationship with Jesus. My ministry passion will always be with children. I just struggle with the adults in their lives sometimes that bring words of discouragement and destruction into the life of ministry leaders.

So I continue to watch from a distance. I enjoy teaching piano lessons to a few children — but it’s just not the same. Occasionally, I get the urge to  return to children’s ministry and see if things might turn out differently this time around….and then the fear of getting hurt again keeps me from taking the plunge. Now you see my struggle……I want to share fun, laughter, and truth with kids…..but I’ve got one too many scars to get past.

Making an Impact

As I continue to make preparations to move to Plainview, I’m also finding it necessary to close things here in Memphis. With each announcement of my new adventure, I repeatedly find myself surprised by some of the people with whom I have interacted and hopefully have impacted in a positive way. Last night featured one such encounter I didn’t expect to have such a powerful effect on me.

I have been teaching at Bartlett Music Academy for nearly eight months. I have maintained a small studio and enjoyed working with the kids. Last night was the final session of a theory camp including a young man who has struggled in his private lessons, but has made significant strides in his reading and rhythm skills in our brief time together. This boy came to know me because his younger sister is one of my piano students. After our class together, J. informed me that his family had a card for me.

I accompanied J. to his family’s van. From the back emerged a teary-eyed girl who stretched out a card and gave me a huge embrace. As her dad looked on, he explained that L. had just learned earlier in the day of my departure. The student could say nothing; I was fighting tears as well. In that moment, nothing else mattered more than the realization that I had significantly influenced this precious child.

Isn’t that what we all want — to know that our efforts have made a difference? I’m not looking forward to Saturday’s piano lessons. I expect some more difficult goodbyes. But I also have the confidence that even though the time I spent with these students was short, I am leaving them better than they were first introduced to me. My prayer is that my impact has extended beyond the music and that they are confident that their teacher cared for them deeply.

Prayers for Baby

It seems to be an exciting time in my little corner of the world. Several of my friends have announced that they are expecting babies later this fall. My family is especially excited since we learned on Christmas Day that Jacquelyn and Shane are welcoming their first child this fall!!! Talk about excitement in the Freeman family! We are absolutely giddy! There’s something about the expectation of a new baby that brings such a thrill to my heart. There is also a reminder that we have an enormous responsibility to pray for the children in our sphere of influence.

Even though I’m not currently active in Children’s ministry, there will always be a special place in my heart for these cherished little ones. Sometimes, we are all guilty of falling into the trap of “out of sight, out of mind.” We forget to pray for those things that are not right in front of our eyes on a daily basis. This can be the case with children we don’t see regularly as well as the unborn child we’ve not yet had the privilege of meeting. My challenge for you today is to recognize the importance and power of your prayers for the children in your life. The youngest and most helpless are the ones who most need us to take their needs to the Heavenly Father.

Prayers for baby should be specific and address all areas of their development — physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. I am finding that prayer prompts can be very helpful to remind me to pray throughout my regular schedule for these developing treasures. Here are some ideas I am currently using.

• Use a favorite item as a reminder to pray for the child’s physical development. When Jacqs showed us the sonogram of the baby, she commented that the image reminded her of a Gummy Bear! That made an obvious connection in my mind between the sweet treat and the growing child. Whenever I see a bag of Gummy Bears, I whisper a prayer for the baby’s health and physical development. To make sure that the baby is prayed for consistently, a jar of the goodies prominently sits in the family home as a daily reminder to pray for her and Jacqs. (We don’t know the sex of Baby Bauer yet, but I am convinced we’re having a baby girl!)
• Create a Bible bookmark with the child’s name to accompany your daily devotions. This is the perfect opportunity to begin asking God to bless the child with favor and spiritual blessings. Think about it!  Just in the last few weeks, I’ve prayed these prayers over our Gummy Bear:
1. Like Enoch, may she walk with God in a close personal relationship.
2. Like David, may she face adversity with confidence in the power of her God to defeat any giant.
3. May she be willing to bring to Jesus whatever she has to offer for His use like the boy with the loaves and fishes.
4. Just like Josiah, may she have a heart for God’s Word and a commitment to follow its precepts.
• Shopping and crafting sessions remind us to ask that the child will be surrounded by love! I can’t help myself! I’m already looking at little outfits and baby accessories. (My apologies to Shane and Jacqs now…..but this baby is going to be SPOILED!) The coming of Gummy Bear also brings out my crafty side, so there are baby-themed cross-stitch patterns scattered all over the house. As we shop and craft, pray that the baby will be immensely loved. This seems like a given in most families, but I’m talking about extreme love beyond the walls of the home. I’m praying for loving teachers, baby sitters, music teachers, nurses and doctors. I’m praying for a Godly children’s pastor to love and nurture the child and parents during the most formative years of her development. I’m praying that any plan of the Enemy to bring harm and destruction to the life of Gummy Bear be stopped by the protective and loving arms of Christ.

This is just the tip of the iceberg of prayer prompts. Think about the children in your life and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal ways that you should be praying for them on a regular basis! Scripture tells us that “Children are a heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 127:3) and they are to be valued, adored, and cherished. The best way I know to begin establishing their heritage is by covering them in prayer. Won’t you join me in claiming another generation for the Kingdom?

Halloween Candy

Tonight is the night children will don costumes and begin their annual quest for sweet treasure. I’m really not a fan of Halloween, but I do love seeing the creative costumes. The best (or worst?) part is that my family begins preparing weeks in advance by stockpiling candy.

For as long as I can remember, my Dad has been known as the “Candy Man.” Whenever he goes to church, kids of all ages find him, knowing that he has a sugary treat for them. As soon as October arrives, Dad begins looking for the most exciting bag of candy to share with the young revelers who will knock on the door on October 31.

Because of Dad’s health issues this year, Dad settled for a simple bag of treats. Of course, my family didn’t wait until Halloween to start enjoying the confections! For some reason, I opted for a different candy this year. Instead of reaching for a wafer drenched in chocolate, I grabbed a box of Milk Duds from the sack.

And that was the beginning of the end! Those little nuggets of chocolate-covered caramel are addicting! I feel like I need to find a meeting of CEA — Candy Eaters Anonymous — in order to deal with my problem. But I think I’ll wait until Halloween is over, unless the little yellow boxes of yummy-ness disappear into my tummy first!

Some Passions Never Die

What are you passionate about? What is that one topic that will always result in you finding renewed energy and excitement when you meet a like-minded person? For me, that passion has always been effective ministry to children in our churches.

If you’ve read much of this blog at all, you know that I spent the past 14 years working for a church. One of my responsibilities was overseeing the church’s ministry to kids. I certainly wasn’t the best director ever. I made more than my fair share of mistakes in ministry. But I can confidently say that I always wanted to give the children in the local church my very best.

As is often the case, attacks on leadership from various sides are destructive. I left that position thinking that I would never again be able to consider working with kids. The attacks were too vicious; the pain was too great. I couldn’t risk opening my heart to kids again only to be trampled by adults once more.

I’ve been away from ministry for a year now. Hurts are continually being healed and I am continuing on my personal journey back to physical, emotional, and spiritual health. It was thrilling to see a small sign of my passion returning during a recent conversation.

While preparing to leave campus, I noticed that one of my former students (now a member of the college staff) was planning an event. The nosey person that I am asked about it and learned she was working on an event for the kids at her church. I made a comment that I had planned similar events…and that’s when ideas began pouring forth.

For the next 30 minutes, we shared ideas about ministry to kids. It was such a sweet moment to experience the joyful anointing of the Spirit as we talked. By no means am I at a place where I’m ready to dive back into ministry of any kind yet, but how thrilling to realize that my days of effectiveness are not passed. New days are ahead for me. I don’t know when or where they will happen, but I’m joyfully looking for them with a renewed sense of hope.

Whatcha Doin’?

With that simple question, an adventure began on Monday afternoon. Last Saturday afternoon, I sent a quick email to my nieces, asking when they would like to get together and just have an afternoon of fun. I left the planning to them (with a couple of suggestions) and decided to see where things would go. Late Sunday afternoon, I got the reply; they wanted to go to the Memphis zoo on Monday afternoon. We spent a few hours together and had a wonderful time.

Why do I even bother to mention such a mundane experience? Because I think that the simple question that ignited the conversation needs to be asked by adults more often. My nieces have had a less-than-easy life. They have watched their parents’ marriage end and experienced the frustrations and stresses that come with being raised in a single-parent home. Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not assigning blame to anyone. That’s simply the fact of the situation. The girls live with my sister and have very few positive interactions with men on a regular basis.

When I asked them to spend some time with me, I thought I would simply provide an escape from the four walls of their apartment during the summer break. If that’s all I accomplished, that would certainly be worth the effort. As we walked through the zoo, ate lunch together, and headed to the bookstore (youth literacy is a personal passion for me), I learned things about them and their lives that I had no clue about. By simply being with them and listening to their words, I had opportunity to speak positively into their lives while gaining insight into areas that need prayer. And it all started with a simple question.

At home that night, I watched the series premiere of The Fosters on ABC family. (I’ll write more about my feelings of that television program in a later post.) The Fosters traces the lives of a non-traditional family who has been actively involved in the child foster care system. As the show’s opening episode depicted the challenges faced by children and teens in our nation, I noticed a recurring theme. We all have something that we can give to these precious treasures of our society. If I don’t pour into the children and teens in my sphere of influence, someone else will. The problem is that what’s being poured into the children may not necessarily be positive. When children are desperate for love and attention, they will take it however (and from whomever) they can get it!

So I ask you the same question I asked the girls: Whatcha doin’? There is a generation of kids growing up all around us that need to know that they are important. Are you willing to be part of the solution or are you just going to sit by and watch as their generation is caught up in political correctness, questionable moral choices, and indifference? Certainly you should invest in the children in your family. But what about the kid around the corner that your child hangs out with? Who’s influencing them? The good news is that it can be you, if you’re willing to make a little effort.

Here’s my challenge to you today. Take a look around you and see a child in your sphere of influence that needs encouragement, mentoring, or simply a little human love. Allow the Holy Spirit to give you direction. Take 15-minutes out of your day and listen to what they have to say. How do you get a child to talk? It normally works best over a scoop of ice cream, a glass of lemonade, or while tossing a ball around in the park. Don’t say the challenge is too tough; make the effort, watch the joy that you can bring to the life of a child or teen, and get ready for a flood of love from Heaven above! I promise that you’ll be glad you made the effort.

Father Figures

I’ve been thinking about the concept of fathers this week. No need to worry….I don’t have an announcement to make! As I have looked at our society, I see how important the role is. Is it feasible that some of the problems people face today is because they lacked a strong father figure in their own life? As I thought about the spiritual implications, it seems that our relationship with the Heavenly Father often reflects our interaction with our natural father. That puts a lot of responsibility on any man who plans to be called “father.”

What are the responsibilities of a father? I’m not a father, so obviously I’m coming at this from the perspective of a child only. Here are some of the things that have been in my thoughts this week.

• Example and Teacher. A father models many roles that will play out in their children’s future life. Want to have a good guess about the type of man a girl will be drawn to and consider marrying? Look at her father.  How will a boy treat his future wife? He’ll tend to follow the example of his father’s interaction with his mother. Fathers also teach children the value of hard work and strength tempered with gentleness.
• Protector. A child’s sense of safety is often linked to the presence of Dad. A father is to protect his children from all threats — whether they are real or imagined. A father who fails to protect his children through neglect or abuse is setting them up for difficulties in trusting others and believing that they are worthy of being safe. (As a side note, I personally feel that there are few crimes that are more heinous than abuse against a child in any form — physical, emotional, or verbal. I believe these men are among the vilest creatures who deserve the maximum punishment allowed by our courts!)
• Affirming. Sadly, it seems that this responsibility is often left solely to the mother. Moms naturally provide encouragement to their children as they rejoice over their successes and help them get up after failures. Children desperately want to hear from their father that he’s proud of them. This means that the father must be attentive to the child’s interest and be informed about how things work.  In other words, if your daughter is taking ballet lessons, it will go a long way if Dad knows the difference between a pirouette and a tutu!  
• Involved. “Actions speak louder than words.” While your child longs to hear that you are proud of them, she also wants to spend time with you. This can be intimidating for a father who doesn’t share common interest with the child…..and as the years go on, the chasm becomes wider. From a child’s perspective, it’s actually pretty simple. Take your elementary student outside on a Saturday morning and build something together or wash the car. Unexpectedly have a special treat for your pre-teen when dropping them off for school. Plop down on the couch with your teen and challenge them to a video game. Your involvement opens lines of communication that will be a blessing to the child in years to come.

What happens if a child misses out on these aspects of their father? There are no absolute guarantees, but I do see some potential problems spiritually. Children with absent dads (either physically or emotionally) can experience difficulty relating to God the Father. Those who have received little affirmation from Dad sometimes find themselves working so hard to gain God’s approval. When the natural father didn’t care enough to be involved in the child’s life, it can be hard to believe that God would ever be interested in what’s going on with me. 

What do you think are some of the most important characteristics of a father? If they are absent in a child’s life, what might be some of the future implications emotionally or spiritually? Men, is there a child in your sphere of influence who needs a father figure in their life?  If so, consider stepping up and being a positive influence in their life!

Influences from the Past

Last week, Mom and I went to dinner at a local restaurant. As we were being led to our table, I noticed a gentleman who I recognized but couldn’t immediately place. As we ordered and talked, I continued to notice the man and racked my brain to place him. When I finally figure out who he was, Mr. Runions had already gotten up and begun to make his way to my table. Richard Runions was the principal of West Memphis Christian School when I finally had the opportunity to transfer. Although the interaction in Cracker Barrel was very brief, it was nice to hear from a man who I have admired since first meeting him and who made such a powerful impact on my life as a teen.

I have been blessed to have many men and women speak powerfully into my life over the years. While some of them were teachers and pastors, others were simply friends of the family who saw potential in me and decided to pour deeply into my young life. I am convinced that the presence of these leaders in my life during my formative teen years is a major factor in the person that I have become.

Because I have reaped the benefits of their passion for young people, I have tried to consistently invest in the lives of young people throughout my adult life. My involvement in children and youth ministry over the years has been a major outlet. My chosen profession also has everything to do with the impact so many of my teachers and professors made on me. My hope is that I can provide a new generation of students with the confidence that they can succeed in life and that they can find new depths of spiritual maturity as they pursue Christ with humble devotion and sincere worship.

Who were major influences in your life as a young person? Have you told them the impact they have made? This might be the perfect time to make a phone call or to send an email. I’m certain it would be a bright spot in their day! The more important question, I believe, is who are you INTENTIONALLY POURING INTO today? Regardless of your position, there is a child or teen looking to you for encouragement and affirmation. Don’t let another day pass without speaking life into the heart of the next generation!

The Marathon is Almost Over!

For the past two weeks, my life has been consumed with Music Camp 2012 at Abundant Grace Ministries in Collierville.  The first show was successfully performed last night, so it’s no wonder that on this Saturday morning the entire process is on my mind.

This year’s show is “The Amazing Grace Race” by Celeste Clydesdale.  The imagery of the race parallels that of the apostle Paul in 2 Timothy and is also a good description of the production process itself.  Unless you have been involved in directing some type of theatrical production or other large-scale event, you may not truly understand what is involved.

What the public sees is the sprinting aspect of the Camp: two weeks devoted to teaching kids choreography, staging, and fixing musical problems in order to put the show on stage.  I have encountered many people who think this is when all of the real work is done.  It’s true that this is the most physically demanding time in the production, but by no means the hardest work.  Creative and administrative preparation has been going on for months in advance of the first session of Camp.

Music Camp (and all theatrical productions) are marathons.  Planning begins months in advance and the director lives with the material, mentally envisioning the staging and attempting to recognize potential pitfalls before they occur in rehearsals with actors.  (The LAST thing you want to do in any production — especially one with such a short rehearsal time — is make numerous changes with your actors.  The result is always confusion and frustration for those attempting to bring the script to life!)  What no one sees are the numerous paper sketches in folders at home of stage movement, sets, and props.  They miss the readings (which would be quite funny to observe) in my office, deciding which lines need the greatest emphasis.  Absolutely no one is around when I begin to walk through each character’s staging, deciding which actions are essential to my interpretation of the story, which would be nice to include if possible, and which are more trouble than they are worth!  Why is no one around?  They would send for the men in white coats!  I look incredibly unstable while walking through these scenes.  This year, these processes started back in February after finally settling on the musical we would present.  The selection process began back in December, 2011.

Now that I’m into the performance dates, Camp is simply a jog to the finish.  I’ve done the prep work, the children have been thoroughly equipped, and the volunteer staff have been lead as best I could.  Now it’s time to simply reach the finish line.  I’m looking forward to tomorrow morning’s final performance with both anticipation and a touch of sadness.  I really do enjoy working with these kids and we have had a lot of fun together — MOSTLY– but I’m ready to get some rest physically and mentally!

What happens after the show closes?  There will be a bit of work to return the stage to a church sanctuary and follow-up notes to send to staff and students.  Then I’m off for a much-needed vacation before diving in again and beginning to plan for the crew’s next production.  It’s sad to admit, but before this show even ends, there are already ideas buzzing around in my head regarding what we can do next.  Some would say I need professional help!  I just say that I’m addicted to the joy of watching kids develop their skills and using their talents in the ministry of their local church.