I suppose today’s blog prompt is truly a sign of the times that we live in. The question was straight forward…Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? Uh…NO! It’s October 5. I’d like to get at least one more bag of Halloween candy before I start thinking about Frosty, Rudolph, and Santa.
This wasn’t always the case though. As soon as I became independent and able to purchase gifts, I enjoyed the process of Christmas shopping. There was nothing better than making a list, determining how much to spend, then looking for the best deals I could find to make my limited money stretch as far as it could. Over the years, I became known as the shopper who was going to find great gifts for even better prices. My favorite story is still the year that I went shopping for a shirt for a brother-in-law that I really didn’t like very much. I knew I had to at least make it appear that I cared….so I shopped the bargain racks in a favorite department store. While looking at price tags on the medium shirts, I found one that clearly said the price was $0.01! The colors weren’t horrible. There were no holes or obvious defects. I could give a gift that truly paralleled the idiot’s worth. I had found the perfect item!
Christmas shopping wasn’t always about insulting those I didn’t like. More often, it was a joy to search for things that I thought people would enjoy, but probably would never buy for themselves. Whether it was a new dress for Mom or the latest gadget for one of my nieces, nothing brought me more joy than to find the perfect gift, have it wrapped beautifully, place it under the tree, and wait for the recipient’s response on Christmas morning. It was fun! It was a reminder for me of all that I had been given.
Sadly, things changed in the family Christmas celebration. Others began to view the process of gift-giving as stressful and a competition. They felt that they had to reciprocate their perception of the gifts’ monetary value in their own giving. Despite explanations that Christmas giving was not a “tit for tat” transaction, the gift-giving was brought to a halt. With it went my joy of the Christmas season. Sure, I still get gifts for my parents to honor them. But Christmas has become tainted for me because I have to consider if my gift-giving instincts are acceptable. Now the holiday turns into a massive shopping trip that I despise because I am accompanying my mother with the simple purpose of making all of the selections while she dishes out the cash. Typically, I am selecting items for myself that are then wrapped and set beneath the tree. Don’t get me wrong…..I appreciate the things I receive. I just wish that I didn’t have to select it all myself. How horrible would it be to know that someone thought about what I might enjoy and then get to open a package — with no idea of its contents! — on December 25 surrounded by family. I just miss the magic of the gift exchange and the knowledge that someone cared enough to think about me without having to be given a list of “acceptable” gifts. In our efforts to get the “right” gifts, avoid after-Christmas returns, and make sure that no one feels uncomfortable, my family has somehow lost the meaning and joy of giving.
I should probably sit down at some point and try to figure out where everything went wrong. For me, Christmas Day is no longer a celebration. It’s just another day for family to stuff our faces around the table and wait for everyone to leave the Geriatric Ward. I long for the days when the holiday was so much more than a family obligation and was instead truly a reason to celebrate.
Livin' Life 