A Different Spring Break

Spring Break 2022 could not have come soon enough. After a very busy first half of the term and recent health issues, I needed a break. My body needed to rest. My mind needed to spend a week in a neutral gear. My hands needed some downtime. I needed to catch my breath and re-center emotionally. So I hit the road on Thursday before break (my originally planned travel day). I was determined to leave everything behind in Plainview for a while.

The plan had been to fly. But with a nasty cold that was still lingering and the fact that I sounded absolutely HORRIBLE, I feared that I would be denied boarding and end up having to drive to Arkansas anyway. So I cancelled my flight, crawled in the car, and headed east. Since I had to make a detour through Lubbock that morning, I decided to take Highway 82 into Arkansas rather than my normal path. I made good time and arrived in Texarkana by 5pm. Since I was that close to the Geriatric Ward, stopping for the night seemed pointless. I continued driving and arrived at Mom and Pop’s house around 9:30 that evening.

Sometime around 3am on Friday morning, I was awakening from a sound sleep (Thank you, cold medicine!) by the constant beeping of my cell phone. I groggily made my way across the room to see what all of the commotion was about. That’s when I learned that my brother had been called by Mom to take her to the ER because she could not breathe. (Later, I would learn that she had not tried to rouse me since I had driven all day and could not wake my dad.)

By the morning, Mom had a formal diagnosis of congestive heart failure and was suffering from fluid in her lungs. She was transported to the hospital in Jonesboro and admitted for a few days. By the time I was fully awake, I had discovered that my own health problems had gone from bad to worse overnight. My voice was now basically completely gone! Before heading to Jonesboro to see Mom, I called my local ENT and got an appointment for Tuesday afternoon.

When Tuesday rolled around, I was ready for some answers. Truthfully, I was more than a little worried that something was seriously wrong. I knew things were bad when the nurse entered the room to begin her assessment and handed me a pen and paper after our first exchange. That’s when you know you sound bad! The ENT scoped me through my nostrils to confirm that the problem was not sinus related. Everything looked fine……until she got to my vocal cords. Rather than describing what I saw (wish I hadn’t, honestly!), I’ll just skip to the diagnosis. I am either suffering from vocal thrush (most likely) or the earliest stages of a nodule. The doctor’s thought is that my recent respiratory infection combined with my Type 2 Diabetes created the perfect storm for the yeast to grow near my vocal folds. There does not appear to be any permanent damage, but I was put on a 2 week anti-fungal treatment and instructed to be on vocal rest as much as possible for the next few weeks.

Mom was released on Wednesday afternoon, but was still quite ill. She now requires constant oxygen until the fluid is completely out of her lungs and is exhausted from all of the coughing. Perhaps worse of all, Mom cannot sleep in her own bed; since returning home, she has been confined to the recliner in the living room. She will be visited twice weekly by a home health nurse with two additional visits from a physical therapist. Before I left home on Saturday afternoon, she had met both caregiver teams and liked them a lot. That’s a definite relief!

So my relaxing week took on a different look than I had planned. I learned a lot about an oxygen compressor and how to easily move from living room to bathroom and dining room with a tube connected to your nose. Suddenly, I found myself back in the kitchen preparing meals for Mom. I had forgotten how much I enjoy cooking for others when I have some direction and know that I am not going to be solely responsible for clean-up. (Have to admit, the frozen veggies that are cooked in the bags are amazing. No mess, no fuss….and the patients liked them!) I spent a little time thinking about how to give Mom a little of her independence back while Dad is at work and got to be around while she started making her first strolls from the front door to the kitchen entry. There’s something encouraging about watching a feisty geriatric patient determining that it is time to get up and move!

Today, I made it back to Plainview. My voice is considerably better — the meds seem to be helping a lot — but I am still not quite ready to launch into a full-blown lecture yet. I didn’t learn the new music that I had hoped to while at home. I didn’t touch a piano at all. But I am finally feeling as though I will be completely healthy once again in the not too distant future. Most importantly, I was home for the Geriatrics’ most recent health crisis. Even though it is not completely over, at least I have seen things with my own eyes and am at peace. Still, I’ll probably find a way to sneak back home for a weekend in a few weeks.

Traveling with Aging Parents

One of the joys of growing up and maintaining a good relationship with my parents is the opportunity to travel with them in their golden years. However, it is also a challenge at times. Ever the planner, I searched for advice online for traveling with senior adults and found very little other than recommendations for travel locations for the most active senior citizens. Unfortunately, that is not a description of my Geriatric patients. There are considerations about weak knees, lung issues, and general aging.

Now that I have planned and executed vacations for (and with) my parents for nearly 20 years, I have learned a few things that make the experience fulfilling for everyone involved while also avoiding challenges in the midst of the vacation. Here are my top tips for traveling with aging parents and my reasoning for each.

Know your travelers. I know this seems obvious since you are traveling with your parents. I have found that it is extremely important to have a conversation before beginning to plan the trip. What is grabbing their interest at the moment? What are their goals for the trip? How is everyone’s body holding up in recent months? If I had skipped this conversation before last week’s trip, I would have missed that Mom wanted to try cuisines of other lands while forgetting that Pop has a lifelong love of antiquing. While I knew about Mom’s knee issues, I was not aware of the impact that Dad’s asthma was now having on his physical activity. All of this information was extremely important as I began to plan our vacation together.

Advance scouting is a lifesaver! As often as possible, I like to visit locations in advance of arriving with the Geriatrics. This allows me to think about scheduling while addressing physical challenges like inclines and stairs. Personally, I felt a distinct difference in my stress levels during our visits to OKC and Fredericksburg. Since I was very familiar with the section of OKC that we were visiting, I was very aware of things to avoid in order to make the visit as smooth as possible. Fredericksburg was a different situation since I had never visited before. The gentle rolling hills were a challenge for both of the Geriatrics; I had to think quickly about how to navigate the town in a way that insured their safety while still doing the things they wanted to make sure they did not miss.

Splurge on the hotel rooms. You are probably going to be spending more time in the hotel while with the senior adults than you would if you were alone. Part of the vacation is getting away from stress and relaxing. Consider upgrading your rooms as an investment in the pampering package of the trip. Often a little more space in the suite allows everyone to spread out and feel more comfortable together. If you participate in a hotel’s loyalty program, points can also help with your upgrades.

Have a plan with built-in flexibility. The worst thing that can happen is to try to “wing it” while on vacation. If your parents are resistant to a formal itinerary, make plans so you have recommendations to offer when your travelers don’t know what they want to do. If possible, plan in such a way that things can be moved from day-to-day and allow for the inevitable nap or illness.

Create a separate itinerary for yourself while traveling. Your parents are probably going to have some times that they want to rest and enjoy the room. Have a separate list of places that you would like to visit that will not interest the rest of your party. This is a perfect opportunity to enjoy some alone time and to recharge your own batteries.

Locate important services. We don’t want to think about it, but accidents and illness can occur while on vacation. The probability of something happening escalates when traveling with older adults. Save yourself stress in the moment by identifying the location of a pharmacy as well as a walk-in clinic and the ER. Hopefully you won’t need to visit any of them. If you do, you will be very thankful that you did the research in advance.

Document the experience. Take a few minutes at the end of each day of your trip to make some notes about what you did and your impression of how it was received by members of your party. The notes will be a valuable tool as you plan future trips and become a treasure trove of memories in years to come.

Ask questions. Don’t just rely of your impressions of your parents’ response to the vacation. Ask direct questions to garner great information. I thought I knew which restaurant they most enjoyed last week in central Texas; when I asked the question directly, I was shocked by their response. I often ask several of these questions during the final drive home when there is a lull in the conversation. It’s a great time for them to reflect on all that they have experienced and the information is still very fresh in their mind. Don’t be surprised if some of the most appreciated moments were the ones that required the least preparation. Those simple moments can be priceless to everyone.

Adventures with the Geriatrics – The Conclusion

Greetings from the Geriatric Ward! We made it home this evening just after 6:30pm. The original plan was not to make the entire drive in a single day, but given the circumstances, it became the best option. Everyone is very tired, but I don’t think I broke the Geriatrics during our eleven hour journey.

The weather forecast suggested additional storms moving into Austin and DFW by late morning. Neither of the patients do very well in heavy metropolitan traffic, so I didn’t want to add the stress of rain to that equation. In an effort to outrun the rain, I was greeted by the alarm clock at 6:15 this morning; we had loaded the car and started our trip east by 7:20.

The first part of the drive was lovely. We all enjoyed looking at the beautiful vineyards in the area and having a leisurely start to the drive. Austin traffic was nearing the end of the morning rush hour as we traveled through the city ahead of the forecasted rain. So far, so good.

When a pit stop became necessary, I noticed that Buc-ee’s was nearby and decided that would be something fun to experience together. I had never been and it gave the patients a little extra time to walk about and stretch their legs. Buc-ee’s was extremely busy and I think the sheer number of people and the store’s massive size were all a little overwhelming for Mom and Dad. We will have to stop again during a future trip now that they have a better idea of what to expect so we can do a little more exploring.

Our good luck continued as we moved through Waco and Dallas. We experienced a few showers in both cities, but not the downpours that we were hoping to avoid. As we were leaving the Dallas area, it was time to grab a bite to eat. Jack in the Box was convenient and has been a favorite treat for several years. Sadly, this location left much to be desired and a very greasy taste in my mouth. Ugh!

I had explained to my parents that generally check-in time for a hotel is at 3pm. So we knew we would be traveling until at least that time. When 3pm rolled around, we were driving into Hope, Arkansas. Truthfully, by the time you have driven that far and you still have daylight to burn, I would rather just head to the Geriatric Ward — just about 3 hours further. I was thankful that the patient’s didn’t boycott because I was looking forward to spending the night in my own bed.

That is….I was glad we were driving home until I began to deal with the frustration of Arkansas traffic. Our only major traffic jam occurred in Little Rock as a result of another vehicle having a blow out. The most frustrating thing about the traffic was the insane number of extremely rude, inconsiderate drivers. It is a good thing that God did not bless me with the ability to “zap people to Kingdom Come” at any moment. Today, there would have been several drivers that would have met their fate at the hand of that zap! So frustrating!

I’ve been pretty pleased with myself this week that I remained patient and flexible. Today with the arrival of a stress headache that would not let go, I found myself much shorter with people and easily annoyed. That’s not a person I like, but it’s just a reminder that I’m a fallen man and that I have bad days where I don’t necessarily like myself. There are a few things that I would like to see banished from existence though. (I am sure you are noticing a running theme.) After today’s drive, I forbid anything to be wrapped in cellophane. I also want to see the end of polyester pants if there is the slightest chance that extremely dry hands will be rubbed across the knee as a result of boredom at any time in the remains of all human history! Is that really too much to ask?

Thank you all for joining us on our Geriatric Adventure this week. Next week, I’ll hit the road again — alone this time — to attend the Oklahoma Music Teachers’ Convention in Stillwater.

Adventures with the Geriatrics – Day 5

Our vacation is quickly coming to an end, so today meant that we needed to do several things in order to mark items off of everyone’s to-do list. There were a couple of periods of rest included in all of the activity, so I don’t think I broke the Geriatrics entirely. After dinner, however, they were both ready to come back to the hotel and wave the white flag at the end of a very busy day.

The day began with more rain here in Fredericksburg. I was worried that the entire day might be awash. Since I knew that the stores on Main Street did not open until 10:30, I kept the pace slow and hoped that the rain would pass for a bit. Just after 10:00, the rain slacked significantly and we were able to venture out without too much difficulty.

The shops on Main Street are *mostly* connected by a covered sidewalk that made travel much easier. Shopping included visits to the Five-and-Dime, a General Store, a couple of clothing shops, and finally the Christmas Store. I was good and walked away with only two new snowmen for the tree (I’ll include pictures next week when I’m back in Arkansas) as well as a snow globe featuring a snowman crèche.

After traveling up and down one side of Main Street, Mom was done walking for a bit and was ready to get back in the car. She was not, however, ready to bring our morning outing to an end. So that meant we needed to make a pitstop at Pritzer Sweet Shop on Main. Dad and I both had a salted pretzel — AMAZING!— while Mom opted for the sweet pretzel. Her choice was not as pleasing. She had really wanted to try the salted caramel cookie, but feared the impact that the salt would have on her blood pressure. (When she shared that bit of information with me later this afternoon, I told her she worried too much. There is no way the cookie would have contained enough salt to make a significant impact on her BP.)

To give the Geriatrics a little down time, I drove up and down this section of Main Street to let them have a look at the other shops along the way in case there was something else they wanted to make sure they did not miss. I extended the drive a little more before finally arriving at our next adventure – The Red Baron Antique Mall. This stop was all about Pop. He enjoys looking at all of the antiques in the store and comparing with the items that he has in his collection that is spread between his overstuffed shed and the water plant in Crawfordsville. He calls these things “treasure”; I personally have a different view. I know….I’m horrible.

The rain moved back in shortly after noon, so we decided to grab a quick lunch before returning to the hotel. There was not an In-n-Out around anywhere….so I had to settle for Whataburger. Our light lunch turned out to be very filling and made us all ready for an afternoon nap.

But before nap time, while sitting with Mom and Dad in their room, I surfed the internet and discovered another establishment that needed my attention. I ran over to Fredericksburg Pie Company to pick up a couple of slices for an afternoon snack! OMG! These freshly made pies were amazing. I had a slice of chocolate meringue that made me consider stopping by the shop again before leaving town tomorrow. Mom (with a little help from Pop) cleaned up on a serving of peach cobbler that definitely hit the sweet spot. Now we were all REALLY ready for an afternoon nap.

Dinner rolled around and we headed to The Ausländer on Main Street. I parked a little further from the restaurant than I had intended, but walking along the sidewalk was going to be much easier for Mom than navigating the slight incline of the parking lot in the rear of the restaurant. Once seated, it was really fun to see Mom and Dad taking in the sights of the Bavarian dining room. After helping them work through some of the German specialities on the menu, I got to share memories from my own trips to Bavaria. In reality, I probably won’t be able to take them to Germany in this lifetime, but it was nice to share stories again. Yes, we had a lot of food. Schnitzel was the feature of this trip. Mom opted for Schweineschnitzel (pork) while Pop tried the Jägerschnitzel (pork with mushroom gravy). Both tried the red cabbage and hot potato salad for their side dishes. Schnitzel was a hit (although there was certainly some food left over because of all of the eating we had done earlier in the day), but the cabbage was not as enjoyable. Just too much vinegar for their palettes.

The weather forecast this evening suggested another round of rain moving into the area late tomorrow morning. The plan is that I will check the late night forecast before crawling in bed. If it looks as though we can avoid some of the rain by getting an early start, we plan to hit the road around 7am (ugh!) and begin making our way back to the Geriatric Ward. We are still not certain if we will make the entire drive back tomorrow or split it up over two days. I’ll make sure that you get all of the details at the end of the day.

Adventures with the Geriatrics – Day 4

Today was largely a travel day, so there aren’t as many stories to share. I am really tired after driving, but here’s the update of what we’ve done on this Wednesday.

I hit the ground running this morning in order to have a 6-month check on my recently diagnosed diabetes since I was actually in Plainview on the day of the appointment. Good reports all around. No change to the current treatment and no additional check-up needed until December (for this condition anyway….plenty of doctor’s visits ahead this summer).

The Geriatrics and I left Plainview this morning around 10 and began our journey to Fredericksburg, Texas. Fredericksburg sits in the central region of the state and the best way to get in is by using state highways instead of major interstates. Mom and Dad enjoyed the sights along the way, but as we were closing in on our destination, it was clear that they were both ready to stop driving for a bit.

Upon arrival in Fredericksburg, everyone was ready for dinner. We had our hopes set on checking out Ausländer Restaurant and Biergarten to experience a little of Bavaria in Texas. (Can you tell that I’m ready for another European adventure?) I had read numerous times that the restaurant was closed on Wednesdays. I had fully processed the information. I had failed to process all day long that it was ACTUALLY Wednesday! I somehow finally pieced all of this information together — with an assist from Pop in the backseat — and realized that we will have to visit Ausländer tomorrow evening.

Now it was time to punt. So we decided to check out Bella Sera for a little Italian dinner. The place was quaint and very clean. They were also severely understaffed, so service was less than ideal. The Geriatrics thoroughly enjoyed their meals (Chicken Marsala and a seafood medley served over thin spaghetti). My Chicken Parmigiana was a little too sweet for my personal taste, but it was prepared very well and was extremely tender. All in all, we would recommend a visit to Bella Sera if you ever find yourself in the area.

If the weather and Mom’s knee cooperate, we plan to visit some of the shops on Main Street tomorrow. We know that we want to check out the Christmas Store to continue our search for snowmen and snowflakes; decorating the tree in this new theme is a joint activity by everyone in the Geriatric Ward right now. (So if you find any really cool or unusual ornaments, let us know!) Personally, I’m hoping to hit a few of the art exhibits in town. I expect there will also be visits to the cowboy hat establishment and the kitchen supply. One thing is certain, I will update you on what actually goes on in tomorrow evening’s post.

NB: Mom’s knee began giving her a slight bit of trouble this evening after a day of riding in the car with limited mobility. We are hopeful that an evening of rest and careful movement tomorrow will be just what the doctor ordered. Your prayers are appreciated.

Adventures with the Geriatrics – Day 3

Sometimes plans change unexpectedly. A last minute cancellation of an event scheduled for me for the evening resulted in a wonderful day with the Geriatrics in Plainview, USA. I love it when things work out just as they should — even when it was very unexpected.

All three of us enjoyed the luxury of a morning without any major commitments. The Geriatrics slept until nearly 8:30 this morning (compared to their normal rising at 4 or 5 each day with the sun). I woke around the same time, but decided to spend another hour or so just resting in bed. That gave us a calm start to the morning.

After a quick trip to the bank, I took Mom and Dad to the campus of Wayland Baptist University to give them a brief introduction to the amazing Spirio|r technology that they have been hearing so much about. (If you are interested, you can learn more about this instrument at http://www.steinway.com/spirio.) It was fun to get to share part of my work with my parents and see the shocked looks as they experienced the instrument in person. Truly, there is no other way to fully understand the power of a Spirio|r than experiencing it in person.

While we were on campus, Dr. Ann Stutes, the Dean of the School of Music at WBU and my good friend, stopped by to say hello to my parents. I must admit that it was a bit overwhelming to hear my parents express their pride in my work and successes to another colleague. I think that today may have been one of the first times that my dad truly understood a small sliver of my career path and that I am quite good at what I do. As we left campus, his statement that he was incredibly proud of me carried much more weight and understanding than it ever has before. That moment alone made the entire trip back to west Texas worth every mile for me.

After leaving campus, it was time to grab a bite of lunch. I hesitated to suggest another sandwich shop, but I was fairly confident that the Geriatrics would enjoy a trip to The Brew. (Apparently, I had missed seeing Joe Vandiver and Colton Langston by just a few minutes!) The Brew was a resounding hit with the patients. They clamored over the freshly baked cookies as well as the sandwiches. (Mom enjoyed a turkey panini — just like me! — while Dad dove into the Veggie Sandwich.) I think the biggest hit, however, were the kolaches that I had ordered. I’m a huge fan of these pastry-wrapped sausages and knew that my parents would enjoy them as well.

The afternoon brought more rest for everyone while I ventured to the chiropractor for a much needed adjustment. It’s never a good thing when the first thing the doctor says after beginning treatment is “oof!” Dr. Nate is amazing and got me walking a little straighter and with a lot less discomfort in a short half-hour. I am constantly amazed at how much chiropractic care improves the quality of my life.

Now that I did not have an evening event to attend, we set out for Amarillo to enjoy a steak at Hofbrau Steak and Grill House. As we began the drive north, Mom noticed the dark clouds and suggested we just have dinner in Plainview tonight. She had her fill of traveling in rainy weather yesterday. (I’m really hoping that tomorrow is a clear travel day as we go into central Texas!) Since it was still a bit too early for dinner — Am I the only one noticing that the only activity we really participate in on this trip is eating? — we made a quick stop at Panhandle Popcorn before taking a tour of some of the city’s residential areas. As we discussed dinner, Mom decided that we should visit a Mexican restaurant; the mildest option for her tender palette is Leal’s, so that’s where we ended up.

Dinner was enjoyable, but both Geriatrics were shocked at the level of spice. Mind you, I had intentionally asked the wait staff their opinions on the items we were selecting AND requested that they ask the cook to be extremely light in his seasoning. What was on the table? Mom order a taco/tamale/enchilada combo while Dad had the steak and enchilada dinner. This meal was probably one of Dad’s favorites; Mom was just happy that she got more of “that Mexican rice” that she has loved during previous visits.

What’s coming tomorrow? I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning — completely unaware that I was scheduled for a check-up this week, but I’ll actually keep it since I’m in town — and then we will load up the car and begin our journey to Fredericksburg. Who knows what surprises may come along the way?

Adventures with the Geriatrics – Day 2

We safely made it to Plainview this afternoon shortly after 3pm. That makes today a huge success. As the day began, we weren’t sure if we would be spending another day in OKC unexpectedly or end up somewhere in between OKC and the plains of Texas. For an uneventful travel day, today was a bit of a doozy.

Let me give you some background. As we were putting ourselves to bed last night, we learned that two massive rain makers from Texas were converging in OKC during the overnight hours. The expectation was a constant downpour for the metro area — “buckets” as the local weatherman described the projection. I was not looking forward to driving in this mess in an unfamiliar car. Rainy weather and I don’t have the best history. Too many incidents of hydroplaning have left me skittish.

Then life decided to add an additional layer of adventure to our travel plans this morning around 2am. I woke up from a sound sleep only to discover that I was ill and venturing too far away could be problematic. By the morning, I felt so poorly that we inquired with the front desk about the possibility of extending our stay in OKC for another night. They were very accommodating and helpful; we just needed to make a final decision by 11am.

After a quick shower and realizing that the city was getting a brief respite from the storm, I felt energized and decided to proceed with our travel plans. The Geriatrics and I agreed that we would begin the trip and stop for the day whenever we needed to — either because of the road conditions or my health. In hindsight, this was probably not my wisest decision, but I’m happy with the outcome. I was unable to stand the sight or smell of food until this afternoon. It rained almost constantly from OKC to the Texas border. After a little lapse, the rain carried us from Amarillo to Plainview.

Needless to say, there wasn’t a lot of conversation along the way — hearing over the rain was a challenge at times. I didn’t feel like talking. After getting everyone settled for a few days in the Comfort Suites in Plainview, I was able to make a trip to the drug store to pick up a few things that had been left behind — most importantly, Dad’s pomade! Although he doesn’t have a lot of hair, what remains has a mind of its own and has to be reined in with some powerful cream. When I saw him step out of the car when we finally stopped for lunch, I thought he had cotton balls all over his head. LOL!

Food for the day was nothing exciting. Lunch at Cracker Barrel since I thought I might be able to stomach a small bowl of dumplings. (Thankfully, that proved to be true since the breakfast attempt of a plain biscuit was not as successful.) After a late lunch, the patients decided to grab a bite from KFC — a long time family favorite — and just settle in for the night. I have a feeling this week is going to be more about resting and relaxing than it will be about doing anything touristy.

What’s on the agenda for tomorrow? Probably a little antiquing, an introduction to a special piano that they have heard a lot about in the past year, and then an evening at the hotel for the Geriatrics while I attend a work function. Oh yeah…..I’m going to the chiropractor tomorrow afternoon as well!

Adventures with the Geriatrics – Day 1

Summer vacation is finally here. I have experienced a few weeks of much needed rest and recovery. Now, it’s time to resume the annual tradition of vacationing with my parents — the troublesome and beloved Geriatrics. I figured this was as good of a time as any to resume blogging and share the adventures of each day.

Where are we headed? That has been a more difficult choice this year than ever before. With COVID restrictions being eased, we had options, but neither my parents or me wanted to jump into a large urban area for too long. Add to this Mom’s always worrisome knee and Dad’s proclivity for falling without warning…..let’s just say I had to be very thoughtful. The Geriatrics were not much help in making a choice either. Their only stipulation was that they wanted to get away from home for a little while.

Today, we began our journey and stopped for the night in Oklahoma City. We left the Geriatric Ward this morning shortly after 9:30am and began the drive. Mom took the navigator position (that’s a scary thought!) and Pop claimed the backseat. Mom and I had lots of opportunities to chat; Dad can’t hear — honestly, he can’t hear — so there wasn’t much communication from the back of the car. We made a quick stop for lunch in Conway before arriving in OKC just before 5pm. Once we got settled in the hotel, the patients decided that we would eat in for the evening so they didn’t have to get back in the car. I ran to the local MacAlister’s Deli to pick up the huge order. (That’s an entirely different story to tell.) As I write, everyone is settled in their rooms for the evening — I can’t wait to hear the stories about Mom trying to climb into the enormous bed! — to get a little rest before we continue our travels tomorrow.

What’s the big plan for the week? Tomorrow, we will head to Plainview, Texas for a couple of days. I need to be in town for a bit to participate in a meeting on Tuesday evening and to run a few errands in town. On Wednesday, I’ve decided that we will make our way over to Fredericksburg, Texas. Every time I pass through the area, it looks like a neat little town that I think will be a nice fit for the Geriatrics. On Friday, we will either head into Austin for a bit or slowly begin the return back to the Geriatric Ward so there is ample time for everyone to rest before returning to their normal routine next Monday.

All I know for certain is that it is sure to be an adventure and that there will be stories to tell. You are welcome to follow our experiences for the next few days here on the blog. After all, I have often heard from many of you how you enjoy reading the stories about my adventures in the Geriatric Ward!

Until tomorrow……

Help for the Geriatrics

One of the great joys of my life for the past few years has been helping to care for the Geriatrics. In case you don’t know, “The Geriatrics” is my affectionate term for my parents. Some people find the term insulting; I tell them to take it up with my parents — they both know that I use the term and mean it with tremendous love. I never imagined that I would spend many years caring for my parents’ health issues in their golden years. I have learned a lot about the healthcare system in our country. I’ve learned a lot about patience and keeping patients comfortable without letting them feel smothered. I’ve learned a lot about myself and my family. I’ve made more than my share of mistakes, but I have also had lots of success.

One of my personal emotional challenges when I accepted my job in Texas 5 years ago was trying to figure out who would care for Mom and Dad. Things have gotten taken care of in my absence and the Geriatrics have taken a lot of the responsibility for their lives back — and that is probably a good thing. Still, I am always looking for ways to help make their lives a little easier. There are two things that I brought into the Geriatric Ward that seem to have changed Mom and Dad’s lives and have made things a little easier for them.  I thought I would share them here and tell you how they came about — in the hope that the ideas we have espoused might help another son somewhere who finds himself caring for his aging parents.

Magnetic Calendar – This was a simple solution, but so incredibly necessary. The Geriatrics had established the process of posting all of their doctor’s appointment reminders on the refrigerator. When there were just a few reminders, things seemed to work without a hitch. Once the appointments blew up overnight — and it seems as though that’s exactly what happened in both of their healthcare situations at the same time — the refrigerator looked like the interior of a filing cabinet without any of the organization. When Pop actually missed an important follow-up appointment, I knew that something had to change. I had mentioned a calendar before, but neither of them seemed interested. When the calendar arrived, I took EVERY CARD off of the refrigerator and plotted the appointments on the calendar. The Geriatrics bought into the system and I loved being able to visually see what was coming with just a glance. Now I could plan my week accordingly and give ample notice to my siblings when I would need help transporting the Geriatrics to their various appointments.

Here a few additional tips about the calendar:

• Don’t think that you can purchase a “normal” calendar and keep it on the refrigerator with standard magnets. It inevitably will not work! For a few dollars more, get a magnetic calendar. The weight of the paper and the strength of the magnets have already been balanced and you’ll be much happier with the product.
• It will be tempting to try to “hide” the calendar in a cabinet to keep things looking neat. Nope! Tried that for a hot minute and quickly realized that I was going to miss another appointment if things were not openly visible to everyone involved.
• The patients will not maintain the system! Just be prepared to update the calendar every time you enter their home. After a while, they will begin to put some of the items on there, but it seems to never have the regularity you need to really make it work.
• Personally, I would love to use an online calendar instead. However, my siblings never looked at the digital files I created….and since the Geriatrics are not tech savvy I decided to maintain a paper copy instead.

Rolling Mail Basket – This is perhaps my proudest addition to the Geriatric Ward! Grocery shopping is a hassle each week. The worst part for Mom and Dad is trying to get all of the items in the house. Pop wants to carry forty bags at a time and ends up hurting his arms and chest. Mom’s knee is not stable and she cannot climb the exterior stairs if she has anything in her hands. (Yep….that’s the next “improvement” I’m trying to figure out for the Geriatric Ward!) When I first came up with the idea for this solution, everyone thought I was crazy. Now the Geriatrics are constantly having people tell them that they want a mail basket too!  It took me a little while to find exactly what I wanted, but I was finally able to order the mail basket from Office Depot for a really reasonable price. (Note: I was unable to find the exact basket I purchased during my online search, but the image on the right is very similar to the one that lives in the Geriatric Ward.)

Here’s what happens. Before leaving for their shopping trip, the Geriatrics roll the mail basket to the front door. When they return, Mom comes inside and rolls the empty basket outside while Dad moves the bags to the porch. Together, they fill the upper basket as well as the lower rack with their things. Then it’s just a matter of rolling everything into the kitchen to be unpacked. Do they use it for every trip? Certainly not. If they only have a few bags, they can manage to get them inside the normal way. But for the big trips to the market, you better believe the basket is coming out! When I was unloading items by myself this week, I grabbed the rolling basket too. It just makes things easier…..and who doesn’t like that!

Going with the Flow

Surprise — things don’t always go as I had planned. This is often a source of difficulty for me. This summer in the Geriatric Ward is no different, but I’m trying to go with the flow and make the best of a challenging situation.

Many of my readers already know that my siblings and I honored Mom with a surprise 80th birthday celebration a few weeks ago. We had to delay the party from her actual birth date because I was out of country. We found an open weekend, made the plans, and everything seemed to be going exactly as planned.

Or at least they were going that way until we were cleaning up and preparing to leave the venue. I had taken Mom home and unloaded her gifts and some food items into my childhood home. I then decided to return to the venue — just a few blocks from the house — to see if my brother needed any more help. When I returned, I learned that Pop had taken a fall. We got the bleeding to stop and began our journey to the emergency room to err on the side of safety. Thankfully, nothing was broken and it appeared that everything was perfectly fine.

We are now approaching the two week anniversary of the fall and things are anything but normal. A check-up visit to his primary physician revealed that Pop had developed a skin infection as a result of the fall that could easily land him in the hospital. Because his leg was so bruised and sore, Dad had significantly decreased his fluid intake so he wouldn’t have to make trips to the bathroom. (You think that’s TMI? Don’t read the rest of this paragraph. Alright….but don’t say I didn’t warn you!) As a result of this choice, Dad has become severely constipated which is a rather serious issue since he underwent surgery several years ago due to colon cancer. To make matters worse, his inactivity has resulted in extremely low blood pressure. The PC physician wants to make changes to his medication, but that requires a visit to the cardiologist given Pop’s triple bypass surgery and recent stint placement. No, Dad’s accident did not permit the summer to go as planned.

How is this impacting me, you ask? Of course, I’m concerned about Pop’s health. I hate to see him suffer and want him to get better. But I want him better yesterday! Since he is feeling so bad, Dad hasn’t gone to work since the fall. That means he’s been parked in the lift chair in the living room of the Geriatric Ward with the television blaring every day. Why is this so stressful? You have to understand the layout of this home to fully get the picture.

The Geriatric Ward is a shotgun house. There’s a single wall that runs down the center of the building. The living room, dining room, and kitchen are separated by the merest archways. Half of the house is an enormous Great Room before the design style was really cool. Pop’s lift chair sits in the separation between the living and dining rooms. What other household item resides in the dining room? My piano! Now you are beginning to see the issue….Dad’s presence in the home ALL DAY LONG has made it virtually impossible for me to do any substantive practicing in preparation for the upcoming semester.

I became extremely stressed by the situation earlier this week and simply had to vent to Mom. I was looking for sympathy and understanding. I was hoping for advice. Unfortunately, what came out of my mouth was the statement that this could not happen again this summer…..or I might just need to return to Texas. As soon as I made the statement, I regretted it because Mom’s stress level suddenly came to the fore. She is doing all she can to make sure Pop’s recovery goes smoothly, but doesn’t feel as though Dad really wants to get better. It’s just a stressful situation all around.

So I made a decision. Practicing in the Geriatric Ward would certainly be the easiest solution, but there are other options available. It was time to take my preferences out of the equation, put on my big boy pants, and just go with the flow. I made a call to my friend who owns Bartlett Music and asked to rent rehearsal space for 3 hours each day for the foreseeable future. Is this a convenient solution? Not really. I have to drive an hour each way and arrange my practice routine around the space availability of the music academy. So 3 hours of work takes up 5 hours of my time. I am not at my most productive in the mornings. But it is what is necessary in order to go with the flow and get the necessary work done. I won’t even begin to address the inconvenience of transporting my music (there’s more to that than you might imagine), not working on the instrument I am most familiar with, and not working in your most comfortable environment.

How long will this be my summer routine? I have no idea. It really just depends upon Pop’s recovery. What I do know is that a simple change to my outlook and attitude can make a huge difference in how I view this situation….and it allows me to be as helpful as I can be in the Geriatric Ward while still ensuring that I am ready for the music-making that is ahead in the Fall semester. So I’ve strapped on my life jacket, grabbed my oar, and set out on this wild ride through the white water rapids of the Geriatric Ward. I’m accepting that I am not going to be able to control the journey, so I’m just trying to go along with the flow while keeping my head above the water.