What Did You Do Yesterday?

Clearly, I took a break (again) from daily blogging. Last weekend, I began to feel very bad and headed to the doctor on Monday morning. The diagnosis was just as I expected — my annual upper respiratory infection has arrived. A round of antibiotics, a shot, and lots of intentional rest has helped, but I am still not 100% recovered. But I’m starting to feel well enough that I actually care about writing again. Let’s see if I can get this daily habit going again.

Yesterday was quite a productive day. It’s was day 2 of WBU’s four-day weekend that is Fall Break. However, yesterday was not entirely devoted to rest and relaxation. It began with a mad dash down to the Talkington School in Lubbock for a couple of piano lessons. As the girls are preparing for UIL auditions, Richard and I are trying to offer coaching sessions to as many of the students as possible. Yesterday, I worked with the Scarlatti Sonata, K. 208 and Chopin’s Waltz in Ab major. Even though it came the morning after a Singing Men performance, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the Talkington girls.

Then it was time to head back to Plainview after a quick stop at Chik-fil-A. Richard and I met to read through some two piano repertoire in the event that we are called upon to play a program for donors in the near future. We settled on the Brahms variations, Mozart sonata, and Liszt’s Les Preludes. Unfortunately, this is in addition to the program we are already prepping for January. It just seems as though the work never ends.

Before meeting Bobby for a run of the arias that he will be presenting next week for the Singer of the Year auditions at NATS, I headed to the local library to select a new shelf for My Library Shelf project. If you’ve been with me for very long, you know that I select a single shelf in the library and read my way through it in order to discover some authors I’m not familiar with and read some things I wouldn’t read otherwise. I’ve been working on a shelf since my arrival in Plainview five years ago. I’m nearing the end of that project, but getting into some works that I have avoided because they simply do not interest me. I’ve tried reading them before with no success. I’m not sure that I will actually finish reading that shelf.

My new shelf is quite exciting….even if I did bend my own rules a bit. This new incarnation of the project contains 29 works by 14 different authors. One author is represented by a few more books than I had hoped; 12 of the books are by Terry Pratchett (although 5 of them are The Long Earth series, so that doesn’t disturb me as much). The classics on the shelf are two old friends that I am looking forward to rereading: Chaim Potok’s My Name is Asher Lev and The Gift of Asher Lev. I took photos of the shelf (since its contents can change daily based on library circulation and new acquisitions) and headed to campus to rehearse with Bobby.

After rehearsal, I dashed home and began reading the first book from my new shelf, The Long Earth by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter. It is definitely something different from my normal reads, but the writing has immediately pulled me in and I am intrigued. I decided to head out for dinner with my book. When I arrived at Mio’s, I ran into my colleagues and our guest pianist for the week, John Hord. I was invited to join them and enjoy the dinner conversation. The fun and the company was wonderful. Unfortunately, the medication that I am currently on did not mix with my dinner well and I had to make a rather abrupt exit. I hope that I exited with at least some grace — those situations are always so awkward!

Once home, I nursed my upset tummy while curling up with my book and watching a little television before turning in for an early evening. What’s the plan for today? Other than doing a little laundry, I hope to take the day off from anything too productive since I return to the real world tomorrow afternoon with the beginning of opera scenes’ production week.

Where Do You Want to Be a Year from Now?

This question always puzzles me. Am I being asked about a physical location or a major life change? I am never really sure what I’m being asked. So you can imagine my elation when I looked at the blog prompts this morning and saw the question sitting there for me to deal with yet again.

As I went through my day, I continued to think about where I want to be in a year. A couple of answers began to emerge. If we’re talking about a physical location, I hope to be in Malibu. It’s no secret that the years I spent at Pepperdine were among the happiest of my life. Making the choice to attend that school turned out to be one of the most important I would ever make. My time there shaped the man that I have become. It also fostered many of the friendships that are dearest to me. I found myself longing for “the Waves of Malibu” today as I scrolled through pictures of friends who gathered for Waves Weekend — Pepperdine’s version of homecoming. It’s been a few years since I have visited L.A. It’s time for a return trip.

As the day went on, another answer to the query formed in my mind very clearly. Today, the School of Music hosted the Pioneer Marching Festival and I had very simple responsibilities. Simply put, I was running errands as needed so those who were really running the festival could focus on other tasks. As I walked around the field and climbed the stairs up to the press box, I was extremely winded. After a quick trip to Wal-mart, I had to stop talking in order to catch my breath. Throughout the day, I was asked if I was okay as I was carrying cases of bottled water. At first, I began to think that my problems were largely associated with a bit of bronchitis that I haven’t been able to shake. Sure….that could be part of the problem, but I had to admit that there was a bigger issue. I’m in the worst physical condition of my life. I thought living in a third floor apartment would improve my physical stamina. It has not.

This time, it’s not about weight loss or physical appearance. I just want to be able to do the things I love with people I enjoy without worrying about whether or not I can keep up. It’s a matter of quality of life.

I hate gyms. I always have. The most success I had in my pursuit of a healthier life was when I worked with a trainer. I enjoyed his company and I didn’t feel as though I was going to the gym alone. I don’t have a plan yet…..but I have a little motivation to do something about it now. I know myself…..and I know I have to strike while the proverbial iron is hot and before I convince myself that I am too busy to really do anything about it.

The Return of My Winter Visitor

Winter is officially here. Days get cold and the skies turn dark. Typically, I get sick early in the season. Nature is dormant and all of the world seems dead. Everything we see encourages us to huddle inside in our desperate attempt to stay warm.

Winter also means that it is time to return to Texas. It is time to leave the comfort of home and the joy of the holidays. For weeks, I have been surrounded by the lights of the tree, the relaxed pace of Christmas vacation, fulfilling dinners with the family, and the warmth of the family hearth. Now it’s time to exchange all of the activity for a quiet apartment and nights alone.

It is time for the annual appearance of my least favorite visitor — Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD). Like many who have battled depression, January tends to be a difficult month for me. The struggle continues until Spring begins to appear and life returns to the world. Thankfully, I have learned to manage my struggle over the years. Here are some of the things that I have found most helpful in dealing with Seasonal Depression. 

• Acknowledge that you have a problem. Depression is no longer a taboo topic and does not carry the stigma it once did. Neither is it an illness that one simply has to “deal with.” Help is available — ranging from medication to talk therapy. As soon as you admit that you need help and begin to seek it out, you are on the path to recovery.
• Stay connected. Depression will cause us to want to withdraw from connecting with people. Part of the recovery process involves being very intentional in maintaining contact with friends and family. Friends and family aren’t around? There are other ways to be around people that share common interests — get involved in a local church body, volunteer with a service organization, or join a community group.
• Escape the cold! Winter weather and the absence of light can often be a trigger for those who suffer with SAD. Try escaping virtually through a book, movie, or music. Look for warm weather settings or things that remind you of summer memories. If possible, try to take a mini-vacation to a warmer climate or an interesting locale. Every year, I intentionally schedule a weekend getaway in the middle of January.  This year, I’m joining a few friends in southern California for a mental health escape.
• Don’t underestimate the power of being cozy. Sweaters, warm jackets, scarfs, and favored blankets can help to change your mood quickly simply by providing some physical warmth. The extra weight can remind the sufferer of a hug, providing comfort in challenging moments. Monitor your mood (and the weather!) and make wardrobe choices that will provide you extra comfort on those days you need it most.
• Count down to enjoyable events. Sometimes it can seem that things will never change during the cold winter months. I find it helpful to look forward to several upcoming events that I’m excited about during the season. These might include trips as well as movie releases, family holidays, and other events. Keep the countdown in a visible place that you will see daily and make it part of your daily routine.
• Notice change as it occurs. There is nothing better than seeing signs that life is returning to the natural world. Even if you are not typically a “lover of nature” (I’m not!), it can be very helpful to notice the signs that Spring is coming. Watch for the first buds on the trees. Listen for the return of the birds’ songs. Feel the gradual warming of the breeze. 

I must tell you that these tips are based simply in my personal experiences. If possible, you should seek out the advice of a medical professional as you deal with Seasonal Affect Disorder and other forms of Depression. Regardless of what your struggle is, know that there is hope and help available for you.

Answers You Never Wanted

When I first planned to write this post, it was going to be a long rant about being asked questions by people that didn’t really want to hear the truthful answers from you. Instead, they just wanted you to mindlessly comply and agree with the posit they had presented. As I prepared to tell you about the eye rolling and my frustration, LIFE happened and brought a much more important story to tell.

Let me introduce you to my friend, Stacy. Stacy and I attended Pepperdine together and both majored in music. I don’t remember how our connection started — just looking at the two of us, you never would have expected us to be good friends — but that’s what happened. We studied together, hung out in the practice rooms together, and just did life together for many years. As we neared graduation, life took us in different directions, but we remained friends.

After graduation, Stacy and I lost touch. I often wondered how life had treated her after returning to her native Wisconsin. With the birth of Facebook, Stacy and I reconnected and I got my answers. It was always fun to see her posts and feel as though I had some idea what was going on in her life. A few weeks ago, I began to follow her daily posts with much more interest. One of her children, August (who is also called “Auggie”) began to have a medical crisis.

Auggie’s day began as usual, but in a flash, he was suddenly unable to walk or use muscles on one side of his body. Immediately hospitalized in a Wisconsin children’s hospital, the search for the cause of his illness began. I watched in horror from a distance as this child that I have never met became worse daily. He was unable to keep food down and was obviously becoming frustrated with his weakened condition. Stacy and her husband, Grant, were dealing with sleepless nights since one of them had to stay with Auggie around the clock because the hospital couldn’t provide staff to help the child clear his throat in the event of another vomiting episode. (Because of Auggie’s inability to move, he would choke without assistance.)

Doctors provided lots of hypotheses about Auggie’s condition. I cringed as I read of each new test this once-vibrant child was facing. Each new test ruled out a possible condition, but answers seemed to be fleeting. As the search for a cause continued, Auggie began to face hours of therapy in addition to the medical tests. This child needed to learn how to function in a wheelchair as well as how to complete basic tasks to return to some level of normalcy. By this point, I was ready to hop in my car and make a trip to Wisconsin! Even if I didn’t know Grant or the kids, there had to be something I could do to help. The fact that I had no car available while recovering from my own accident helped me decide that the best thing I could do right now was to follow the daily updates and vigilantly pray for this precious child.

After several weeks of struggles for the family, the update no one wanted to see appeared. It had become clear that Auggie was a very sick child. On a late May afternoon, Stacy shared a beautiful post that Grant had written announcing the findings. Their son had been diagnosed with juvenile Multiple Sclerosis (MS). My heart broke for Auggie. In a moment, his life — and the lives of his family and friends — were forever changed. It was definitely an answer that no one wanted to hear.

So now what? How does this impact me? My prayer has become that I won’t forget about Auggie, Stacy, and Grant in the weeks and months ahead and that I will continue to intercede for them. In the meantime, I am educating myself about MS — its treatment, research, and fund raising efforts. I’m hoping to learn if there are any plans in the works for a benefit concert for Auggie — Stacy has been actively involved in the thriving theater in her community — and see if I can join the efforts as a performer. But most of all, I will thank God for the healthy children around me and ask for His mercy and peace to be poured out on those dealing with life-altering illnesses as part of their daily routine.

• P.S. – Livin’ Life will not appear on Monday in observance of the Memorial Day holiday. I’ll be spending the day with family, but posts will resume on Wednesday with the latest installment of “Hits and Misses.”