Joy Bringers

Jan 5 – What are three things that bring you joy in life?

Okay, let’s start with a few disclaimers before I launch into my answers. The question clearly asks for “things” that bring joy — so that disqualifies people from my answer. Obviously being with my Mom brings me great joy as do my “chosen family” of people that I chose to do life with on a regular basis. I’ve also decided not to include the obvious answers that most people would expect. If you know me at all, you know the role that music and books play in my emotional health and joyfulness. So there’s no need to share those details. Now, let’s get down to the three things that bring me joy.

1) Chocolate. This might not be a surprise, but I do think it needs some clarification. Not all chocolate qualifies. I prefer milk chocolate, but not all milk chocolate is the same. Joy comes with REALLY GOOD chocolate. I don’t find it very often, but when I do I am in a very happy place. The performers that were with me on November’s Midland Opera tour saw me enjoying good chocolate and finding a VERY happy place. If the good chocolate is covering really good caramel, I’m in Heaven!

2) Museums. I have absolutely no skill in the traditional visual arts. I cannot draw anything other than a stick figure — and those are not very good! Painting is an abstract effort for me. I don’t like getting my hands dirty, so sculpture and ceramics are out of the question. Still, I have an artistic spirit and I enjoy viewing the visual expressions of talented artists. I have fond memories of visiting MOMA and the Getty Museum in Los Angeles. Whenever I travel to a major city alone, I make it a point to check out the art scene. But it’s not just an appreciation of major works that I enjoy. I also enjoy seeing the work of local craftsmen and artisans who may not be well known, but still bring excellence to their work. I don’t know what is technically good, but I know what speaks to my spirit and evokes an emotional response within me. Those are the pieces that I most enjoy and find myself wanting to return to over and over.

3) Travel. It doesn’t matter whether I’m going by car, plane, or train, I just like to go! The destination is not as important either. I love exploring metropolitan areas, but I can also spend a quiet weekend in a quaint berg with a few books and some local restaurants. Sometimes I want to be alone and see what I can find. Other trips are meant for companionship. I have stayed in lush hotels in the best areas of the city and crashed on the floor of a mountain cabin with a group of guys (although I doubt there are many more “floor crashes” in my future). There’s always something interesting to do, too. Shows and concerts are always a hit. A visit to a second-hand bookstore and an antiques shop can be a welcome diversion from the norm. So….who’s ready to pack a bag and join me? It’s time to hit the road!

Bedtime Routine

Jan 4 – Describe your bedtime ritual.

Seems my blog prompts are going to get a little personal, huh? I guess I’ll base my routine on what happens during the school year since that is what is about to start back up in just a few more days. Do I have to go back? Are you sure?

Whenever I walk through the door, keys and wallet are coming out of my pockets and shoes are coming off. First thing! The real preparation for bedtime begins around 9pm (if I’m actually home by then). That’s when it’s time to take my daily meds. Nothing too strange — just medication to manage my cholesterol, blood pressure, and acid reflux.

Depending upon how tired I am, I’ll probably return to my brown chair to try to wind down a little bit. I might do a little planning for the coming day and make my to-do list. There’s probably going to be a little reading and maybe a little time spent with either YouTube or Netflix.

Just like the Geriatrics, I check the locks on the door, turn out the lights, and head to the bedroom. Turn on the humidifier and then head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Then it’s off to the bedroom. If I’m not ready for sleep, but know that I have to get up in the morning, I might crawl in bed with a book — reading by the small glow of the book light that I keep at my bedside.

Put the book away, make sure the alarm is set on my phone, and roll onto my left side to drift off to the Land of Nod. Then I complain when the alarm goes off the next morning….because I want to stay in bed a little longer!

Christmas Traditions

Jan 3 – What is your family’s Christmas story? (Your traditions, your rituals, etc.)

Christmas with my family has changed tremendously over the years. Now the celebration is largely centered around a family meal on the 25th together with lots of noise. Family comes in for that one day and then returns to their individual lives. Mom and I continue some of our traditions of watching Christmas movies nightly and trying to take in a show or two to celebrate. Perhaps the change is simply the result of everyone getting older. I don’t know though…..

As a young professional still living in the Geriatric Ward, Christmas was always a busy season for me. There were always gigs to play, church parties to organize, and children’s musicals to stage and produce. And my family was right in the thick of it. (Come on….who better to draft when you need work done?) Mom was always a trooper to help with food for parties and helped immensely with children’s events. Patsy was constantly building and altering costumes for all sorts of productions — when i didn’t have to toss her on stage! I don’t know how many times we have created angels’ wings, halos, and nativity scenes together. O’Neal handled all things mechanical…whether he really knew how things worked or not! We figured out stage lighting trees and how to make a rotating box to give the illusion of Heavenly clouds that could also open into a storybook. Since the beginning of all of these seasonal plays, at least one of my nieces was in the cast. Jacquelyn was the only one that had to figure out how to take direction from me while sitting next to me on stage. That’s always tricky!

Why did the tradition of doing the Christmas program together seem so important? Some may think it was only because it made me look good. I think there was a lot more to it than that though. While we were constantly reminded about the birth of Christ through the shows’ plots, we also got to celebrate our individual strengths working together to offer a personal gift to the church and the Savior. On top of that, it gave us a connection that we didn’t otherwise have. We were working towards a common goal together….and that made the times together as a family even sweeter.

There were other traditions from my youth and childhood. For many years, one of my favorite traditions was the Christmas card display. Cards came from near and far. Some were exquisitely beautiful while others were charming or comical. Each card reminded us that we were loved and given warm wishes during the holiday season. I don’t really remember how it started, but the cards ultimately began to make their way to the doorframe of the living room. As we entered the door of the house, you were immediately greeted by this enormous display of Christmas art that was constantly growing. We had a personal art installation in our home that would never be the same in any other year.

There were also the infamous excursions to the mall almost weekly to search for the perfect gift…..and a great deal…..for everyone on our list. Did we probably spend more money than we should have? I’m sure. Would I trade anything for the time we spent together in the stores? Not on your life. There was so much laughter, frivolity, and love in those times. Pop would grab a seat on a bench (normally near the food court) to people watch, but he would eventually slip away on his own to make a few purchases. Mom’s giggle box would get turned over without fail. There were stupid adventures too….someone noticing a sale just as everyone had stepped on the down escalator. Rather than riding to the bottom and returning to the sale, we decided to turn around and walk back up the escalator. Almost everyone made it….Carlene had to ride down on her knees as she laughed at her own fall. Now, that time together is overshadowed by everyone’s concern about not spending too much and not making purchases for anyone outside of your immediate family. Personally, I hate it….but I acquiesce to keep the peace.

There were lots of other Christmas traditions that I loved. Building treat bags for the local church. A couple of favorite teddy bears that have sat in front of the television for many Decembers now. The mess of flour and sugar from holiday baking to share with others. Car rides together to see the light displays around the area. There were also some traditions that I hated. Trips to my paternal grandmother’s on Christmas Day where I felt like the unwanted grandchild. Heirloom Christmas ornaments that were treasured by my older siblings but had no reflection of me in them…..hate to admit that, but it’s true. Guess that’s what comes from being born a decade later. Christmas Day ham. Bleh!

Change is inevitable. Some of the traditions ended as the children grew and began lives of our own. Some require too much energy now that we are all getting older (since much of the responsibility for these treasured Christmas traditions always landed with the Geriatrics…..and they’re not Spring Chickens any more!) Rather than focusing on all that has been lost over the years, I choose to focus on making new holiday traditions — movie marathons, live theater — while maintaining and reviving some of the older traditions that have become dormant for a while. Most importantly, I have to keep my focus on the tradition of being with those that I love most at Christmas as we celebrate the birth of the Savior of the World.

Hopes for the Year Ahead….

Jan 2 – What is one thing that you hope to achieve or accomplish this year?

Do you really think I can limit myself to just one goal? Anyone who knows me well knows there is no way I’m going to only have one personal goal at any point in my life. Call them resolutions if you like. I just avoid the term in my own life because New Year’s Resolutions are so often associated with broken promises that you are almost doomed to failure from the start. Here are some of my personal goals for the year ahead.

1) Read more books. This goal always seems to top my annual list. After a rough reading year in 2019 (only 21 books!), I have set my sights much higher for 2020. I’m shooting for 40 books this year. Some people will say that this is a completely unrealistic goal. Maybe it is. But I’m choosing to embrace the adage “Shoot for the moon; if you miss, at least you’ll hit a star.” Any improvement will be success, but I’m setting a goal that I think will be challenging, but also obtainable. If you want to follow my journey this year, join me over on Reading for Me and tag along through all the ups and downs of my reading adventure.

2) Practice emotional self-care. I’ve known for many years that I am my biggest critic. Regardless of what I accomplish, I can work harder, do it better, and get more done. 2020 is going to be the year of practicing self-kindness. What does that mean? I intend to find more opportunities to relax. Whether that means escaping to another city for a getaway or taking in a movie that has nothing to do with my career, I just have to find ways to allow myself to breathe. Sometimes this may involve friends, but not always. I intend to regularly assess my own emotional and mental health and then take the necessary steps to return me to a place of proper balance.

For now, that’s all I’ve got. Nothing musical. Nothing that will further my career. I’m sure that those will come as the year gets underway. For right now, the focus needs to be on me and me alone. 2019 was not a nice year for me personally. These are the first steps in making sure that 2020 is a year of joy.

A New Year….and a New Start

Happy 2020, everyone! Whatever 2019 brought, today marks a new beginning. A blank page. A clean slate. A fresh start. January 1 also brings with it the end of the holiday season. I always hate to see the lights, trees, and the cheerful decorations begin to leave my environment. I’ll admit it…..January tends to be a challenging month for me as I deal with the Winter Blues. It’s the reality of how I’m wired. Being aware of it is part of the process of dealing with the sadness.

Another thing that helps me overcome the gloom that tries to set in is to use the month as a time of reflection (briefly) and then begin looking forward to future plans, dreams, and hopes. That’s what Livin’ Life will largely be devoted to this month. To help focus my writing, I have daily prompts. So I won’t just be telling you about the routine events of my life — although that will continue to appear each Monday in “Hits and Misses.” Instead, I’ll respond to the prompt and see where the writing takes me. These posts will probably be relatively short and largely unedited (although I do try to at least proofread everything before it gets published — I abhor typos!) Enough explanation, let’s get on with the writing for January 1, 2020.

Jan. 1 – Describe three moments from the holidays that you wish to remember.

1) There’s nothing like the calmness of being at home. Even though there were some responsibilities that demanded my attention, life took a much more relaxed pace for the last few weeks. There was relatively little no real drama for me while I was staying in the Geriatric Ward. Shucks…..I even survived another family gathering without wanting to draw blood! The Geriatrics and I maintained a fairly low-key holiday — nothing too exciting — and just enjoyed being together. What a pleasure to sit down to read a book without having to worry about who was getting upset about something completely petty and not feeling the pressure of imposed deadlines and commitments. It was a lovely change of pace that I desperately needed.

2) Hello, Dolly! with Mom at the Orpheum. I didn’t really know it until I was a young adult, but my mother loves the theater — especially musicals. Other members of my family tend to appreciate the BIG TOURS that come through town, but they don’t know the joy of experiencing a small show produced by a local company. Mom has grown to appreciate both. When I made this discovery, I realized that I had a companion to join me whenever I wanted to go. Over the years, we’ve seen Cats (I still hate that show!), Ragtime, Annie, The Lion King, Wicked, and lots of other shows together. While home for Thanksgiving, I learned that the touring production of Hello, Dolly! was going to be in town while I was home for Christmas. I was not familiar with the show at all and knew that it was something I needed to see. I asked Mom if she had any plans for the Saturday before Christmas and she quickly said, “No.” I bought the tickets and told her I was taking her to see the show as one of her Christmas gifts. (Side note: I got a little nervous when I later learned that my niece would be visiting her parents that morning. I was prepared to try to sell the tickets, but Mom’s resounding “No!” put my mind at ease.)

I enjoyed the production immensely and have a great appreciation for what took place in the pit and on the stage. However, I probably need to see the show again if I can because I spent most of my time in the darkened house noticing Mom’s reactions. She laughed at the physical comedy, watched the intricate choreography in amazement, and tapped her feet along with the catchy tunes. I even caught her wiping tears as Dolly finally found her happiness in the end. In a few years, I won’t remember the gifts that I gave her that were under the tree…but I will always cherish sharing a few hours in a darkened historic theater as we together experienced an amazing show. Part of me wishes she would have more opportunities to see live theater, then I realize that I’m sort of glad that she doesn’t get to go with anyone else. That’s something special that we do together that no one else can ever take away from me.

3) The sound of Mom’s laughter. In the Geriatric Ward, evenings are normally spent together in the living room gathered around the television to watch Wheel of Fortune before checking out the evening’s movie on the Hallmark Channel. Yes, they are sappy love stories with predictable plots. True, some people will probably demand that I turn in my “man-card” when they learn that I willingly sit through the movies….and actually enjoy them. But without fail, as I watch the film, I am invariably treated to the sound of Mom’s laughter. And that is a sound I adore and associate with being home.

Mom’s laugh is not a polite, ladylike giggle. It’s not a chortle either. It’s a cross between a shriek, a cackle, and gasping for breath. There is no other sound on earth quite like it. I spend lots of time previewing the Hallmark movies…..looking for those that Mom will most enjoy……because we have limited viewing time. After all, 8:30pm is her bedtime if we’re lucky! If I can find a heartwarming story that has a wickedly funny scene, I know I have found a winner and will set the DVR. (Remember, we can’t start the movie until WoF is over….and then I have 90 minutes for a movie. Gotta fast forward through all of those commercial interruptions!)